I Love Hosting Thanksgiving Dinner, but Groceries Are Getting More Expensive. Can I Ask Guests to Chip In?

Turkey, stuffing … and a Venmo request? Here’s what our etiquette expert says

Lizzie Post,

AARP

Comments

Published November 21, 2025

diners around a table put cash onto a serving tray held by a woman at the head of the table

Jon Krause

We’re all feeling the squeeze of rising grocery prices. For many, the supermarket has become a dreaded money pit, courtesy of lingering inflation, far-reaching tariffs on imported foods, supply chain disruptions, and higher labor and production costs for American farmers. With no end in sight, many of us are tightening our holiday budgets — starting with how much we plan to spend on Thanksgiving dinner.

If you’re hosting the big holiday meal, is it rude to ask guests to pitch in a few bucks? Here is our etiquette columnist’s take.

I always host the family for Thanksgiving dinner. I love to cook and have everyone over to my house, but no one ever offers to help, and groceries are getting increasingly expensive. Can I ask people to contribute money for the meal?

I completely sympathize with you on this. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and in my mind there is nothing better than a big Turkey Day spread and a ton of family and friends gathered around the table to enjoy it. But with grocery prices soaring, it can be overwhelming to think of how much it all costs.

Let me start by making one thing absolutely clear: A host should not ask guests for cash for the meal. From an etiquette perspective, the Thanksgiving host — and hosts in general — are responsible for feeding their guests. Asking for money does not align with this rule — and most guests certainly wouldn’t appreciate being handed a bill or receiving a Venmo request for a portion of the meal, especially if nothing was mentioned about contributing ahead of time. Even telling guests in advance, “We’re hosting Thanksgiving! If you’d like to come, it’s $25 per person,” is not appropriate.

If cash were to be contributed, it would be up to the guest to offer it rather than for the host to ask for it. (“Grandma Pat, I’d love to contribute to the Thanksgiving expenses. Darrel and I could chip in $50 if that’s helpful.”) There are also scenarios where a group of family members coordinates the meal and decides together how to divide the expenses. However, those are different circumstances from someone taking on the role of host and asking guests for cash to supplement the grocery costs. (Again, not the way to go.)

Most Popular

But fear not! This doesn’t leave you on the hook for the cost of the whole Thanksgiving meal.

For many families and friend groups, Thanksgiving is a community or potluck-based meal where guests are encouraged to bring dishes. There is nothing wrong with asking guests to do so, but how and when you ask is key. You want to make this a request, not a demand or a condition for attendance, which is why I recommend mentioning to guests that it’s a potluck when you extend the invitation.

Keep it simple: “We’re excited to host Thanksgiving again! We hope you can attend. This year, we’re asking guests to bring a dish if they are able.” This lets guests know what to expect but also leaves a little wiggle room if their budget or logistics make it difficult for them to bring a dish or item to contribute.

With good organization around what items guests are going to bring (even those traveling can pick up beverages or a crudité platter at a local store) and a clear invitation expressing your request for contributions, you should be able to balance your Thanksgiving budget with a fabulous, full spread.

Bottom line: Thanksgiving is about gratitude and togetherness, not invoices. And who knows? Uncle Joe’s mystery casserole might become a new tradition.

%{postComment}%

Lizzie Post is the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette legend Emily Post. She’s the co-president of The Emily Post Institute, co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette: the Centennial Edition and co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast.