Why I Prefer the Company of Younger People Over Those My Age

For some people my age (65 and older) who feel invisible, increased social interaction with millennials and Gen Xers can provide a sense of purpose and belonging. Being able to share our wisdom and experience is a great way to support younger friends looking for guidance through many of life’s challenges. These unique friendships reduce age-related stereotypes through a deeper understanding and compassion for younger and older generations.

On the flip side, my younger girlfriends enjoy the company of older people because the friendships are nonjudgmental and more relaxed. They feel accepted for their identity rather than pressured to compete with their peers over parenting methods, careers, finances and social status. They also think their older friends are more trustworthy and empathetic.

Unlike peer relationships that revolve around shared life stages, intergenerational connections offer opportunities to exchange wisdom, foster mutual learning, expand our minds beyond age-related thinking, and enrich us with unique emotional support.

Plus, they’re “fun,” says Kasley Killam, author of The Art and Science of Connection. “Research confirms that it’s beneficial to connect with people different than us — whether in age, background, interests or another part of our identity — to learn, share and bridge life experiences.”

Mentoring also plays a significant role in my intergenerational friendships. While my younger friends help me see the world through a fresh lens, I model positivity toward aging, which helps eliminate their fears of growing older. The secret to our successful friendships is based on acceptance, unbiased support, staying socially active and curious, and keeping an open mind to learn new things from each other.

According to Killam, one way to bridge the age spectrum and maintain common interests with younger people is to participate in activities you both enjoy. It could be a cooking class, a concert, sporting events, forming a book club or even collecting trash together.

“Do what you love with others,” Killam says. “I recently took a painting class with people ranging from their 20s to 80s; painting together was the springboard to have conversations and get to know each other. Pair a shared interest with curiosity and an openness to engage.”

If you care to meet younger people, “a great starting point would be family reunions, weddings or any other gatherings that bring relatives together,” says Killam. Then plan activities and games for people across generations to participate in. “Volunteering at nonprofit organizations or local community events is another great way to meet people of different ages,” Killam adds. Still more possibilities include your place of worship or work, your neighborhood, social media groups and introductions through mutual friends.

Killam also recommends organizations that are designed to bring many generations together: “Check out CoGenerate for additional resources, or try an online intergenerational matching program like Eldera.” CoGenerate is a national social impact organization that addresses societal challenges and builds stronger communities. Eldera is an online social platform for intergenerational mentorship. There’s also Generations United, which maintains a database of more than 800 intergenerational programs across the United States.

I still enjoy the company of my peers and the laughter we share while reminiscing, but there’s a greater sense of energy and exuberance when socializing with younger people. Being a part of their lively conversations and active lifestyles keeps me feeling younger and socially relevant.

Do I wish I were in my 40s again? No, because I didn’t have the wisdom or experience to handle complicated situations, nor did I have older mentors to rely on for advice. I’m very comfortable with my age and have no interest in turning back the clock.

My younger friends jokingly tell me they want to be me when they “grow up,” and I take this as the ultimate compliment. However, they’re the ones who inspire me; they make me feel rejuvenated and give me hope for the future. But if my joie de vivre inspires a change in them, then we’ve both won the jackpot in intergenerational friendships.

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.