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Healing from the loss of a parent is never easy. And disagreements between siblings over inheritance can make this already difficult period even harder, especially if a parent dies without leaving a will.
Our etiquette columnist offers advice on how to navigate such a predicament.
My mother passed away, and my sister and I are in the process of going through her things. Mom didn’t have a will, unfortunately, so we’re trying to divvy up her possessions fairly. The problem is we both want her engagement ring, which is creating tension at a time that’s already very emotional for us. Any suggestions?
Please accept my condolences for your loss. I am sorry that you and your sister are going through this difficult time.
Sibling relationships can be complex. Years of walking similar paths as unique individuals growing up in the same household can create all kinds of dynamics.
I speak from experience — I have a sister. Sometimes your sibling can feel like your mortal enemy, but other times they are the only other person on the planet who can understand or sympathize with what you’re experiencing.

Money Manners
Lizzie Post is AARP's financial etiquette columnist. She is the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette legend Emily Post. She’s also the co-president of The Emily Post Institute, co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette: the Centennial Edition and co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast.
Add to this relationship the loss of your mother, the lack of a will and the emotionally taxing task of sorting through her possessions, and — well, dear reader, I want to offer you a hug and a cup of tea. You are going through a hard time, but please, don’t let this experience damage your relationship with your sister.
My first suggestion is to be kind and patient with each other and yourselves during this challenging period. Negative thoughts, toward yourself or your sister, can creep in, and that’s OK — you’re both grieving.
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