AARP Hearing Center
Key takeaways
- Identify deeper relationship problems with guidance from sex therapist Tameca Harris-Jackson.
- Recognize how resentment and apathy signal emotional disconnection over time.
- Understand why chronic disrespect undermines trust and long-term partnership health.
Summary
Tameca Harris-Jackson outlines clear signs that a relationship may be facing deeper issues rather than a temporary rough patch. Drawing on her experience as a sex therapist, she explains how lack of emotional support, growing resentment and chronic disrespect can slowly erode connection and trust between partners.
She also emphasizes the importance of self-care within a partnership, noting that emotional and psychological neglect can strain a relationship beyond repair. By reflecting on both personal well-being and a partner’s repeated actions, individuals can better assess whether their relationship remains healthy or if something more fundamental is breaking down.
The key takeaways and summary were created with the assistance of generative AI. An AARP editor reviewed and refined the content for accuracy and clarity.
Full transcript:
[0:00:00] Every relationship can go through a rough patch, whether you’ve been
[0:00:03] together for 60 days or 60 years.
[0:00:08] But as a therapist, I often see patterns that signal a relationship
[0:00:11] is dealing with something deeper than a temporary struggle.
[0:00:14] Some key signs that your relationship is over:[0:00:21] One is you feel that you can’t rely on your partner or have support from your
[0:00:27] partner to help you when things are difficult and emotionally overwhelming.
[0:00:34] I would say you’re really looking at a, a relationship
[0:00:37] that’s not in a healthy space.
[0:00:39] And anytime resentment shows up in a relationship, it
[0:00:43] is hard to come back from.
[0:00:45] Resentment usually leads to apathy.
[0:00:48] And at apathy, we’re really just coexisting.
[0:00:53] We’re really not in a, in a bonded relationship at that point.
[0:00:57] Another sign that a r- your relationship is over is if there is chronic disrespect.
[0:01:04] If you are consistently asking, have asked, used your voice, advocated for
[0:01:10] change in your relationship, and no matter what you’ve done, your partner
[0:01:15] continues to show up doing the exact same things you’ve asked them not to do.
[0:01:22] And at that point, it’s really difficult to imagine a relationship like that
[0:01:27] being salvageable when someone chooses not to regard or respect their partner.
[0:01:32] And then I would say the third indication that the relationship
[0:01:36] is over is when a partner is choosing not to care for themselves.
[0:01:42] And I’m not just talking about going to the gym every day.
[0:01:45] I am talking about emotionally, mentally, psychologically healthy, someone who
[0:01:53] is doing their best to be their best.
[0:01:56] As a partnership, it’s important that your partner does what’s necessary to also
[0:02:00] take care of themselves as well, so they can be the best versions of themselves
[0:02:05] for them and for the relationship.
[0:02:09] Taken together, these signs can help you determine whether
[0:02:13] something more fundamental is breaking down in your relationship.
[0:02:18] Really reflect on how you’re feeling and your partner’s actions, and
[0:02:23] reflect on your own well-being.
[0:02:25] For more content like this, visit aarp.org/InTheMood
