The 6-Point Guide to Combating Military Romance Scams

Romance scams are everywhere and on the rise. Veterans are especially vulnerable because they tend to be financially secure and trusting — selflessness is part of their DNA, and they often presume the best in people.

In 2022, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) received more than 19,000 complaints of romance scams that resulted in a total loss of almost $736 million. USAA and the FTC report an 80 percent increase in the number of cases since 2020.

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Veterans and serving military can become victims of these scams both by being targeted for “romantic” pursuits or by having their identity stolen. A Texas man was recently sentenced to more than three years in prison for an online romance scam that used the identities of real U.S. military generals to target victims.

It’s important to know how these scams work, how to avoid them and what to do if you suspect you’ve been a victim.

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How romance scams work 

Romance scams can happen both in-person and online, but the digital version is more prominent and growing. They target people’s desire for connection with others. 

“One of the key things to understand is these people look for your vulnerabilities and then take advantage of them,” said Donna Andersen, who runs Lovefraud.com, a website she started after being married to a man who said he had been in the Australian military despite never having served. “Everybody has vulnerabilities.”  

Charlotte-based FBI Special Agent Brian Cyprian said it was easy for scammers to find information online to exploit: “Be careful what you post. The scammers will use that against you.”

Romance scams are unique in their intimacy and the vulnerability they require of their victims, and the length of time over which they can occur as the fraudster cultivates the target’s trust.

“We see people taking the time to develop these online relationships,” Cyprian said. “They are building their victims’ confidence over time and getting them to do things they typically wouldn’t do.”

Requests for money

Scammers leverage the victim’s trust and sympathy with a hard-luck tale that often culminates in a request for money.

“There’s a story behind every one that leads to the victim deciding it’s okay to send money to this person,” said Jeff Wolfe, vice president of fraud at USAA. “It might be as benign as ‘I’m in a jam and need a little help.’ They might be asking for a single payment or a series of payments.”

Scammers are likely to target those they suspect have a steady income to exploit such as veterans with a salary, benefits or pensions.