How to Protect Yourself From Theft and Fraud From Someone You Know

The statistics are grim: An AARP study finds that adults over 60 lose a reported $28.3 billion each year to scams and fraud. Shockingly, nearly three-quarters of that theft — $20.3 billion — is at the hands of a friend, family member or caregiver. What does that selfish act even look like? What can you do to help protect yourself and the people around you? And what should you do if you suspect fraud? Three women shared their stories, lessons and expertise.

Janet Rae-Dupree’s experience is a painful lesson in prevention. Her 87-year-old father’s problems began — unbeknownst to anyone — when Rae-Dupree and her sisters hired a friend of a friend to help him out for a few hours each week. The woman quickly wormed deep into his life: “In time, she became Dad’s rock. He didn’t feel as if he could do anything without her.” She began to handle his bills, including writing checks for him to sign.

AARP Membership— $12 for your first year when you sign up for Automatic Renewal

Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of discounts, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP the Magazine.

Join Now

With no family nearby, the caregiver’s actions went unchecked. “She used Dad’s debit card to take out big chunks of cash each week, pay for her mom’s remodel, pet supplies, her own clothing, and ultimately persuaded him to ‘loan’ her money for a pickup truck so she could keep coming to him.”

When Rae-Dupree finally uncovered the caregiver’s actions, her father refused to go to the police. A prominent probate attorney, he was ashamed that he’d been defrauded. When his next aide took out a credit card with Rae-Dupree’s father as guarantor — and then stopped paying the bill — he finally agreed to report both crimes to the police. Ultimately, he died before charges could be filed against either scammer.

You can subscribe here to AARP Experience Counts, a free e-newsletter published twice a month. If you have feedback or a story idea then please contact us here.

Paula Coomer’s elderly father, while developing dementia, was victimized by a family member who constantly proposed plans that would let her father “get rich, quick.” The schemes, buying and selling art and antiques, also included reselling clothing pilfered from donation boxes in affluent neighborhoods. “The outcome was always the same. Nothing materialized,” Coomer says. The family member walked away with $20,000. When Coomer’s father died, he was surviving on food donations. Coomer thinks her father was embarrassed, knowing he was victimized but not wanting to admit it.

Both women share important lessons about protecting family from deceptive caregivers. Rae-Dupree says families need to make sure to hire a bonded, licensed in-home aide so they have legal recourse if trouble arises. Second, make sure there are multiple caregivers on the scene to avoid creating unhealthy dependencies.