In Retirement, Open Up the Wallet a Little for ‘Small Money’

“Small money.” A nice phrase. I asked her to elaborate.

“Roofs, overseas vacations, new cars, real estate — that’s big money. But most of the joys of life are small money. A nice drink. A good meal. A concert. In the big picture, it’s small money.”

I tested her. We all know the going rate for tickets to see a major music star today is several hundred dollars, and I had pretty much ruled out such high-priced shows in recent years. Would she spend that much to see a musician she likes? “Absolutely,” she replied, “if seeing the show would make me happy and give me good memories! In the long run, a concert ticket is still small money. Certainly not for everyone, but it is to me.”

I asked her the most she’s ever paid for a hotel room; it was three times my number. “The occasion was special. And I planned for it,” she said nonchalantly. “Again, small money.”

Now, I know this sounds like a conversation between two rich people. But that’s not the case. Hard workers, yes; my friend, a Realtor, puts in long and seriously challenging hours at her job and intends to keep doing so into her 70s and beyond so she can safely afford both the “big money” demands of her life and a steady flow of “small money” extravagances. That’s her unique path.

Her butt-kicking was appropriate. Before retiring, I had worked through spending and savings scenarios carefully; I would not have voluntarily retired without a near-certain assurance that I could weather most any financial storm. I also needed to remind myself that my plan included a reasonable amount of monthly money for fun and adventure that I was not taking advantage of.  Why not use it and enjoy this new life stage more?

I won’t say that conversation shut down my “money brain.” But in the past several months, I’ve found a good balance. Live frugally, yes. Why be wasteful? And always stay on top of the numbers. But I started loosening up: eating out more, going on more day trips, slowly upgrading my wardrobe for my new life, finally replacing my 20-year-old hybrid 3-iron (though yes, I bought a year-old golf club, slightly used, at half price). Realizing I had gone nine months of retirement without a big adventure, I arranged a four-day romantic excursion to a mountaintop resort. My credit card bills are a little higher each month, but still within my budget. And I started to realize: I like this! I’m having fun! The ice has begun to thaw.

I’ve also stopped obsessing about the daily quivering of the financial markets. I don’t plan to tap into my IRA or 401(k) savings for a few years thanks to Social Security and some other savings I have, so why worry about daily fluctuations? History shows that time will almost certainly heal any news-driven financial market dips.

Remember that earthquake expert? After emerging from under the table, he tried to explain away his reaction by saying something to the tune of “If you aren’t scared at the arrival of an earthquake, then you don’t know what an earthquake really is!”

A good try, but … nope. This past year has given me real-life proof that if you know what the challenges ahead might be — whether financial or other — and have a solid plan ready for dealing with them, there’s no need to panic when occasional tumult occurs. I’m embarrassed it took a smack from someone to remind me of this, but glad I had someone willing to deliver it. Message received.

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.