My Advice for New Retirees: Be Like a Catfish

When asked about this in polite conversation — “What are you doing now that you’re retired?” — I respond that I’ve taken on a few volunteering gigs, joined new social groups, spent more time with my brothers and their families, gotten serious again about health and fitness. But being honest, what really makes for a great day are the catfish discoveries that keep emerging. For example:

• I’ve learned how to sharpen my kitchen knives really well. After some research, I spent $40 on a set of Japanese sharpening stones and practiced that perfect 20-degree-angle pull to get them honed just so. Tomatoes fear me.
• I’ve figured out how to cook pad Thai. If you like Thai cuisine, you know how unique and wonderful this dish is. Turns out, what gives the rice noodles their unique flavor is a blend of palm sugar, tamarind paste and bottled fish sauce. A trip to the Asian market for ingredients, and a whole lot of slicing with those nicely sharpened blades and ... voila! A very passable bowl.
• I’ve bought hipster shoes and sleeker slacks. In my working years, my closet was mostly business casual or weekend warrior. Neither seemed quite right for my many new pursuits and entertainments. So I spent several evenings looking at websites and videos to see how an older man can look a little more fun and fresh. I’ve discovered such worlds as Nordstrom Rack and the Men’s Wearhouse clearance section (finally!). Couple a modestly updated wardrobe with a new beard, about 20 lost pounds and a more quick-to-emerge smile, and the guy in the mirror seems a little more confident, approachable and, dare I say, younger. He and I like that.
• I’ve discovered a new guitar tuning. I’m a lifelong musician of reasonable skill; I just never had time or mental space in my work years to put in the practice needed to become more than good. Now, suddenly, I can take an afternoon to learn a song! It was in this abundance of time that I discovered the secret to two folk songs I’ve cherished for decades but could never play: a different tuning to the guitar strings (for those who play: DADGAD). Within hours of retuning my favorite acoustic, I was accurately playing both songs and literally tearing up in joy.

Please note: I give these examples not to brag. Talking with others who seem happy in retirement, they have similar lists of micro-achievements and realizations. I’ve listened to joyous monologues about flowers, softball, poetry writing, tennis, astronomy, road trips and bridge architecture. The topics are all over the map, but they all have a commonality: enthusiasm. People finding joy in small but personally meaningful things.

So this has been the big lesson of my first year of retirement: Be like a catfish. Swim through my days tasting all that I can. Pursue simple joys. Dabble in new activities and delight in the uniqueness of the new people I meet and the strange new things I learn.

Whether I can maintain this retirement-rookie enthusiasm in the years to come, we’ll see. But I figure, practice now, make it a habit, and my odds of future happiness are pretty good.

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.