Your Kid’s Wedding is Expensive. Here’s What You Can Do to Trim the Bill

The “average” wedding reception doesn’t sound all that extravagant. Buffet-style dinner for 120 people. A DJ. A string quartet. OK, a top-shelf open bar might add some cost, but even still — more than $36,000 for one event?

Yet that’s the average cost for a wedding and reception these days, and it’s a record high, according to Zola, a wedding registry, planner and retailer. In the end, Trish Hatcher’s daughter, Claire, and new groom exceeded it for their big day in Leesburg, Virginia.

“We did everything,” says Hatcher, 58, who paid for the wedding along with her husband. “But we didn’t do extras.” Add-ons that can take the cost even higher include photo booths, elaborate decor and dance floor accessories such as glow sticks and bracelets.

Parents footing the wedding bill can expect to pay the equivalent of a midsize car. Tariffs and inflation are factors, but much of the rise in cost is driven by the wants of the happy couple, who see what others are doing on social media. “We’re seeing the rise of inspiration versus actual budget,” says Sammi Korbin, head of brand at Zola.

Here are a few tips for cutting costs.

Need to have or nice to have?

It’s important to have an early and frank conversation with the soon-to-be-weds over what they can live without, says Esther Lee, editorial director for the Knot, a wedding registry, planner and retailer. “This is a tough discussion. Some couples will sit there and say, ‘I want it all.’ ” Make them choose priorities. Then, book the core vendors first: venue, catering, entertainment and photographer. If there is any space left in your budget, you can move on to the extra decorations and other special touches.

Consult a professional

“A wedding planner definitely can save you money,” says Melisa Imberman, owner and president of Event of a Lifetime, an event planning company in the New York area. Sure, there is a fee for the wedding planner — the average is around $2,100, according to the Knot — but they can get discounts and perks from venues and vendors. They also help save time and reduce mental stress, creating backup plans and putting out fires. Planners can fit into most budgets; many offer tiered services with different levels of involvement.

To bundle or not to bundle?

Many wedding venues offer packages that include catering, tables, chairs, linens, glassware and flatware. But if you can itemize those services, you can comparison-shop and possibly save money with a mix of vendors. “When you bring in your own stuff, you can control it more,” Imberman says. For example, you can find a less expensive caterer, or you can buy the alcohol yourself. “It’s a huge saving because there’s an unbelievably high markup on alcohol,” she adds.

Turn up the music

Instead of hiring a band to get people dancing, go for a DJ. It’s only one person to pay. You can still offer guests a live music experience with a solo pianist or guitarist for the ceremony itself or the reception cocktail hour. “I would probably say it’s the best cost-saving measure,” says Anne Michelle Forbes, owner and creative director of the Hive Wedding Collective, a Virginia-based wedding planning company.

E-invite

Mailed invitations, RSVP cards and thank-you notes are falling out of fashion. Websites like Minted, Zola and the Knot let hosts send out wedding details faster and cheaper than using traditional stationery. Send all communications online or as a combination of print and digital to lower the price tag.