A Grownup Critic Responds to Apple’s Youth-centric Top 10 Albums of All Time List

Rounding out the vaunted Top 10, from 2-10: Michael Jackson’s Thriller, the Beatles’ Abbey Road, Prince & the Revolution’s Purple Rain, Frank Ocean’s Blonde (if ya gotta have a blonde, why isn’t it Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde?), Stevie Wonder’s Songs in the Key of Life, Kendrick Lamar’s good kid, M.a.a.D. City, Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black, Nirvana’s Nevermind and Beyoncé’s Lemonade.

I can’t dispute the worthiness of any of these. But I question some of them being in the Top 10 at the expense of, well, a boatload of others I could name.

Who made these choices? Apple put together what it calls “a team of experts,” including Maren Morris, Pharrell Williams, J Balvin, Charli XCX, Mark Hoppus, Honey Dijon and Nia Archives, as well as various unnamed songwriters, producers and industry professionals.

It’s not that they were tone-deaf in their choices. But how about more representation of our g-g-generations? Boomers can’t get no satisfaction from this list, because while classic rock albums are scattered around the 100 picks, they’re conventional, almost obligatory, choices. You get the feeling the Apple folks said, “We don’t know this album, but every best-of list in the world has it, and we must be inclusive — up to a point.” It’s inconceivable there’s nothing by The Who.

There’s no mention of one of rock’s best debut albums, 1980’s Pretenders. Fine to choose Drake’s 2011 Take Care, but why not go out on a limb and pick one of late English folk singer-guitarist Nick Drake’s brilliant albums, Five Leaves Left (1969) or Bryter Layter (1971)? And Take Care is number 47, while Hotel California — the third-bestselling album in history — is number 99, second from last? Granted, I can’t listen to Hotel California anymore, but it just seems odd. At least The Velvet Underground & Nico is at number 60, behind Arctic Monkeys’ AM and ahead of Sade’s Love Deluxe, which seems at least defensible.

The Rolling Stones album cover for "Exile on Main St."

RLFE Pix/Alamy

The most-represented genre in the Top 100? Hip-hop and rap with 21, trailed by rock (however the Apple deities define it, which they don’t say) at 18. The Beatles have just two. The Rolling Stones — triumphantly touring America, sponsored by AARP — have just one, Exile on Main St., at 53, as does the indefatigably-touring-but-seldom-playing-the-hits Bob Dylan, Highway 61 Revisited at 14.

The album cover for Bob Dylan's "Highway 61 Revisited."

CBW/Alamy Stock Photo

What were they thinking? Apple’s statement includes a comment by Rachel Newman, Apple Music’s senior director of content and editorial: “100 Best brings together all the things that make Apple Music the ultimate service for music lovers — human curation at its peak, an appreciation for the art of storytelling, and unparalleled knowledge of music and an even deeper love for it.” To which one might add, “Blah-blah-blah.”

Where oh where is Taylor Swift on this list, you wonder? Fans can relax. Well, sorta relax. Her 1989 (Taylor’s Version) comes in at number 18. But where is The Tortured Poets Department? That issue must be lighting up the Twitterverse. It was released just over a month ago, surely enough time to crack the Top 10, if not zoom to number 1. Unless these lists were set in stone before the drop date.

Well, there’s always next year. Because really, isn’t that when we’ll find out what the best album of all time is?