AARP Hearing Center
Michela Buttignol
Key Takeaways
- Seven in 10 family caregivers are part of the workforce, underscoring the dual demands many face balancing employment with unpaid care responsibilities.
- Working caregivers should proactively review workplace benefits, including federal and state programs, to understand their options before a crisis hits.
- Before approaching a manager, clarify your caregiving needs and identify potential solutions. If your manager is unsupportive, consider speaking to the HR department or higher management to explore other options.
When Zack Demopoulos was juggling a demanding senior human resources job at pharmaceutical giant Pfizer and the growing needs of his dad’s declining health, he didn’t immediately tell anyone at work what was happening in his personal life. Eventually, the strain of caregiving began to show. The emotional toll and the frequent trips to see his parents and help his dad in North Carolina started to affect his work schedule. His boss began asking questions about his absences.
When Demopoulos, 64, finally explained that he was helping care for his dad, the reaction was not what he hoped for. Instead of empathy, he recalls getting a blunt response from his boss: “Why can’t your wife handle it instead?”
The remark stunned him. For someone working in human resources, an area that often champions workplace policies meant to support employees, it was a sharp reminder that the reality of caregiving often collides with unspoken workplace expectations.
“Telling my boss was a terrible experience, and it led me to keep my caregiving role a secret,” says Demopoulos, who lives in Randolph, New Jersey. Many employees wrestle with the same decision: whether revealing caregiving responsibilities will bring understanding or unintended consequences at work.
Since leaving corporate America, Demopoulos has pursued entrepreneurial ventures, coauthored Working Caregivers: The Invisible Employees and launched a podcast of the same name. While his dad died in 2011, he still travels to North Carolina to support his 96-year-old mom, Anna, who lives in a nursing home.
Zack Demopolous, shown here with his mom, Anna, kept silent about his caregiving responsibilities while a senior HR executive.
Courtesy Zack Demopolous
Working caregivers struggle to juggle
The pressures in the workplace are mounting amid a rapidly expanding caregiving population: An estimated 63 million Americans now provide care, nearly a 50 percent increase since 2015. About seven in 10 family caregivers in the United States hold jobs, according to the latest Caregiving in the US 2025 report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving. Many caregivers adjust their schedules, arriving late, leaving early or taking time off to meet a loved one’s needs. They’re also coping with higher levels of stress, financial strain and isolation than caregivers who are not employed. Hourly workers, who make up a large share of employed caregivers, are especially vulnerable, as they often lack access to flexible schedules or supportive workplace benefits.
“Working caregivers worry that the moment they speak up, they’ll be seen as less reliable or less committed, even if they’re working harder than ever,” says Liz O’Donnell, author of Working Daughter: A Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parents While Making a Living. “Many caregivers go into ‘I’ve got this’ mode. They tell themselves they can manage their parents’ medical crisis, raise their kids and still perform at work like nothing has changed.”
Caregiving at work is not one size fits all. There are three main situations that happen to employees: those who tell their employer and it goes poorly, those who tell them and it goes well, and those who don’t tell anyone at all.
“Every caregiver’s situation is different, and being open can sometimes make life a lot easier, but it’s not always straightforward or the response you’re hoping for,” says Demopoulos.
O’Donnell, who has worked in marketing and communications for 30-plus years, began her caregiving journey when she found out on the same day that her mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and her dad was diagnosed with dementia.
At first, she tried to manage everything quietly, convincing herself she could handle caregiving, parenting and a full workload without letting anything slip. When she finally told her boss what was happening, the response was supportive. Her manager asked a simple question: “What do you need?”
But O’Donnell says that question revealed a deeper challenge. Already overwhelmed by the emotional shock and logistical chaos of caregiving, she didn’t know how to answer. What she really wanted, she recalls, was for the situation to disappear entirely, something no workplace accommodation could provide.
She soon realized that asking for a flexible work schedule had to be a priority, plus having colleagues who could back her up on days when she couldn’t lead client meetings or team calls.
Claude Silver, chief heart officer at VaynerX, a communications holding company, says employees seeking flexible work arrangements should begin by building genuine connections with their managers and speaking up early rather than waiting until they are overwhelmed.
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