Encouraging an Unsteady Parent to Use a Walker

Remind your parent that you’re coming from a place of love on this matter. Brown recommends saying something like “I want you to be around longer and be as healthy as you can be — this is a way for you to do that.”

Arm yourself with facts and stats. More than 1 out of 4 older adults fall each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and research has found that 88 percent of older adults’ hip fractures that were treated in hospitals were caused by falls. Share this info with your parent. You could also point out that the number one reason people end up in nursing homes is falls, Grossberg says, and add: “I know that’s not what you want, and that’s not what I want for you..”

Then, you can “talk about the potential risks of not using a walker,” Jacobs says. “You can say, ‘I love you, and I’m worried about you getting hurt. If you’re not comfortable doing this for yourself, would you do this for me?’ ”

Set the stage for habit stacking

The idea is to build new habits by connecting them to existing ones. If the goal is to have your mother use a walker around her home, have a parking spot for it right next to where she usually sits, advises Scott A. Trudeau, the director of practice engagement at the American Occupational Therapy Association. If she’s going to help with dinner preparation, encourage her to bring the walker with her to the kitchen. “The more she does that, the more it changes her habit of using the walker,” Trudeau says. “It builds on itself.”

Frame it as an energy-saving measure

“You can say, ‘We’re trying to help you save your energy to do what you want to do,’ ” says Trudeau. Encourage your loved one to “think of the walker as an accessory to make their life easier and better,” he adds. If your parent brings the walker outside for a walk to the park, for example, it provides them with a way to sit down and rest when fatigue sets in. If a parent is going to the grocery store, you might note that using the walker will help them expend less energy and allow them to spend more time looking around. Help a parent see that using a walker will help them do activities they want to do more easily.

You might also point out that the new generation of walkers can be easily folded up and stored in the trunk of a car or on an airplane for travel. Above all, emphasize that this is a device that will help them maintain their autonomy and independence, just like wearing glasses does, Brown advises.

Note other upsides

Some older adults with balance or stability challenges engage in “furniture walking” — reaching for furniture, countertops and walls to help them avoid falling — “which causes them to lean forward,” says Sorina Chung, an occupational therapist at the Hoag Orthopedic Institute in Irvine, California. “Using a walker helps with posture because it helps you stay more upright.”

If you encourage your loved one to use the walker at home, for starters, you can point out how much easier it is for them to move around the kitchen or bedroom with it. Alternatively, you could suggest taking it outside and using it to address uneven surfaces, Chung says. Once your parent begins to appreciate the perks, they may be more likely to use the walker regularly.

When it became clear that his father would benefit from using a walker but was reluctant to do so, Douglas Van Soest decided to shift the conversation. Rather than focusing on balance issues, Van Soest discussed how using a walker could expand his father’s mobility options. To test the proposition, they alternated taking excursions, two weeks with the walker and two weeks without. It soon became clear that the weeks with the walker resulted in “more movement and zero scares — a demonstration [that] was louder than a safety lecture,” says Van Soest, owner of Storology Storage in Southern California. “As soon as he realized that the walker was a guarantee of his liberty rather than a sign of weakness, he retained it.”

Notice people using walkers gracefully

Whether you see people using walkers well in real life, on TV or in movies, commenting upon it can help normalize the issue, Jacobs says. No need to mention the walker: You could simply say, “Doesn’t that woman look elegant?” or “Look how smoothly that man is walking.” 

Be patient

“It might take some time to build this into the routine,” says Trudeau. “You want to have some patience and grace as you help them navigate this.”

Emily Mendez can attest to this. Initially, her mother was reluctant to use a walker, even though her doctor recommended it because she had taken a few falls and had significant balance issues. “She thought it would mean giving up some of her freedom and independence,” says Mendez, owner of a mental health marketing company based in Indianapolis. She and her siblings talked to their mom about how using a walker would help her feel more confident and less anxious about falling.

“It took months for her to get used to it. Once she realized she could walk longer distances and feel much safer doing so, she started appreciating the benefits of it,” says Mendez. “Today, Mom uses a rollator pretty much all the time.”