6 Ways to Thank a Caregiver on National Caregivers Day

Show appreciation to those who give so much

Amy Goyer,

Updated February 18, 2026

AARP

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En español

Published February 16, 2023

/ Updated February 18, 2026

a man giving a woman flowers for caregivers day

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More than 63 million family caregivers spend a great deal of time caring for family, neighbors and friends — an average of 27 hours of care per week, studies show, with nearly 1 in 4 spending about 41 hours a week providing care. In addition to caregiving, 61 percent are juggling work and caregiving, and in fact, 70 percent of family caregivers between the ages of 18-64 are working.

Nearly one-third of family caregivers are part of the sandwich generation, caregiving while also caring for a child under 18 at home (nearly half of caregivers under the age of 50 are in this dual role.

Although it may truly be a labor of love, the truth is that family caregivers often are stretched very thin and pulled in multiple directions. They often feel invisible, alone and unappreciated. And they rarely have time to care for themselves.

That’s where you come in. You can make a real difference for your family members, friends and coworkers who are caring for others. On National Caregivers Day, Feb. 20 this year, let them know they are seen and respected by offering support, help and appreciation.

I’ve been a family caregiver my entire adult life for various loved ones, and I can tell you that even the smallest gesture means so very much. A big smile or a hug can make a family caregiver's day. And there are so many practical ways you can support them. It may feel difficult to know what caregivers want and need, simply because they are too overwhelmed to tell you.

So, we are making it easy for you. Here are some clear ways you can demonstrate your support and appreciation to a family caregiver.

1. Simply say ‘thank you’ to a caregiver and tell them how great they are

Join Our Fight for Caregivers

I moderate the AARP Family Caregivers Discussion Group on Facebook, and caregivers in the group say the words "thank you" mean the most to them. Whether you are the person they are caring for or another friend or family, thank them for their everyday efforts, not just the especially challenging things. And be specific. Compliment them on good meal, a great job handling a crisis or sensitively handling the repeated questions of a loved one with dementia.

Point out the many ways in which they are making a real difference in their loved ones’ lives. Celebrate the victories, small and large. Tell them you see their skills and resilience in even the most difficult of circumstances and you appreciate everything they do.

What that looks like:

Mail greeting cards. We don’t often get “good mail” these days, so it’s an extra special surprise when we do. When I was in the throes of caring for both of my parents and my sister, my best friend sent me a card that said, “She who never gives up!” I posted it in the house, and it frequently gave me a lift and encouraged me to press on (it still does). It gave me confidence.
Send videos or photos to let them know you think of them often, not only on National Caregivers Day.
Send edible treats, such as a fruit bouquet, cookies or a wine-of-the-month club membership. My aunt loves bread pudding, so I found a place that shipped it to her when she was caring for my uncle. My sister once surprised me with a package of chocolate-covered strawberries when I was in the thick of caregiving. Her enclosed note said, “Thank you for all you do for Mom and Dad.” It meant the world to me and still does every time I think of it, even though my parents and my sister have all passed on now.
Bring them fresh flowers — or have them delivered. Fresh flowers bring joy and beauty to our existence and make us feel special.
Write a letter. Tell them they are incredible and explain how important they are and how much you admire them. They will likely read that letter over and over.
Nominate them for an award. Find out if local, state or national organizations give awards to recognize outstanding caregivers or people who are making a difference in their communities. If you can’t find one, create an award for them yourself, complete with a certificate!

What not to say:

“You’re such a saint.”

“I could never do what you do.”

“God only gives this to strong people.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

Why it matters: These comments can unintentionally isolate caregivers or dismiss how hard it really is. They don’t want to be saints — they want support. Praise their effort, dedication, persistence, skills, resilience and their decision to be there; don’t make them out to be martyrs, it’s not helpful.

2. Reach out to a caregiver

Take time from your busy life to ask them how they and their loved ones are doing. Spend focused time with them. Melanie Mitchell, who cared for her mother, expressed it so well: “Sit with me. Don’t just tell me how great I’m doing. Spend some time with me.”

What that looks like:

Tell them they are important to you. Be clear that their physical, mental and emotional health and quality of life are just as important as their loved ones’.
Listen nonjudgmentally. Let them share their feelings, tell stories, talk about their challenges, laugh, cry, vent and process their caregiving experiences. You don’t need to fix anything; you just need to care and validate their perspective. Be careful not to offer advice unless they ask for it.
Let them know you see them. Assure them you know they are having a rough time and that you understand how much their lives have changed. Tell them it’s okay to feel resentment, anger and frustration—those feelings can coexist along with their feelings of satisfaction, fulfillment and joy — one doesn’t cancel out the other. Acknowledge they’re doing their best with the time, knowledge, energy and resources they have. They’re caregivers, not saints.
Ask how their loved ones are doing. Caregivers focus on those they care for, so let them know you care about their loved ones too.
Arrange regular check-ins. Text them once a day, walk with them once a week, schedule calls, or take them out for a meal or a cup of coffee once a month. Plan ahead so they have something to look forward to. Be flexible if their caregiving duties mean a last-minute change.
Visit with them and their loved ones. Even short visits can change the course of their day. If they provide hands-on care for loved ones, try to avoid their busiest times.

What not to say:

“Let me know if you need anything.”

“It could be worse.”

“Have you tried…?” (unsolicited advice)

“I haven’t been in touch because I know you’re busy; I don’t want to bother you.”

More from Amy Goyer

How to thank a caregiver
The financial toll of caregiving
Going from hospital to home
Ways to keep loved ones safe
How hospice helped my family

Why it matters: Saying, “Let me know…” puts the burden back on them to come up with an idea or make the effort to reach out to you. And minimizing statements invalidates their exhaustion. Instead of vague overtures, offer specific help. And they will always appreciate a quick check-in via a text or voicemail, being clear they don’t need to respond if they are overwhelmed – you just want them to know you’re thinking of them.

3. Make it possible for caregivers to take a break

Help prevent caregiver burnout by watching for signs of stress and help them get breaks. Don’t just encourage them to take a break; help make it happen. Assist them in finding the time and enacting a plan. Schedule exercise, haircuts, travel, shopping or their own health care appointments. Offer and follow up — don’t wait to be asked.

What that looks like:

Pay for some respite care. It can be through an agency or other paid caregivers. Even a few hours can be a good break for a caregiver.
Offer to provide care yourself. Spend some time with their care recipients in your home or in their home or facility where they live. Sit with them. Watch a movie or read to them. Listen to their stories. Play games, watch a movie, look at photograph albums and listen to music together. Even if the caregivers in your life don’t want to leave their loved ones with you, it’s a real help to have someone else to interact with those they care for while they get other things done.
Arrange for family members to help out. See if an aunt, cousin, nephew or other close relation will step up.
Research other respite care options. Check out state or local respite programs or a short-term respite stay at an assisted living facility or skilled nursing facility. Talk it over with them and do as much as you can to follow up and help make it happen.

What not to say:

“You need a break. Let someone else do it for a while.”

“Why don’t you just put them in a facility?”

“You need to set better boundaries.”

“If I were you, I’d…”

Why it matters: Oversimplified solutions ignore emotional and financial realities, and finding backup care isn't easy. Respite breaks require logistical help as well as encouragement.

4. Actively demonstrate your support

Help by taking on some caregiving tasks or supporting their lives.

Whether you are with them in person or supporting them from a distance, there are ways you can help and show appreciation on a one-time or ongoing basis.

What that looks like:

Take on an ongoing caregiving task, like paying bills, ordering or picking up medications, grocery shopping, making appointments or arranging transportation. This can lighten their everyday load and help them do even better at what they do.
Cook or order a meal for delivery. Let them know it’s coming so they know they don’t have to cook that day. (Be sure to follow special diets and ask what days of the week would be best.)
Do online research for them. Help find health care providers, gather information about health conditions, locate medical equipment or find just the right gadget to meet a special need.
Do housework and yard work (or hire someone to do it). Take a task off of their plate. Cleaning, mowing the grass, raking leaves, handling holiday decorations and other tasks on top of caregiving can be overwhelming. Home repairs may pile up too. Fix things for them or pay for a handyperson to do so.
Help them get organized. Environmental stress really ate away at me when I was caregiving, but I rarely had time to tackle that overflowing closet or messy drawer. Ease their stress by organizing medical supplies, cleaning out the refrigerator or clearing clutter in the home. You can even hire a professional organizer to help.
Run errands. Caregivers are perpetually short on time and it’s often difficult to leave their loved ones at home while they get things done. Pick up care supplies, household items or dry cleaning. You could also set up and pay for delivery.

What not to say:

“I don’t know how you can live like this. This place is a mess.”

“You’re not working, why can’t you keep up with housework?”

“You need some help.” (without offering to help)

“This still hasn’t been fixed?”

“That’s simple, just get it done by…” (don’t list unsolicited solutions without asking what they’ve tried first)

Why it matters: Caregivers often feel judged about housekeeping, organization, or delays. Even innocent comments can sting. Be compassionate and avoid criticizing or minimizing the difficulty of getting things done – some things may seem simple to you, but they are more complicated for a family caregiver who has so much to do and so little time.

5. Encourage a caregiver’s self-care

Tell them you appreciate them and encourage them to appreciate and nurture themselves too. Remind them it’s not selfish to care for themselves; it’s practical. It’s OK to prioritize time to “fill up” so they have the internal fuel to keep on caregiving. It may be helpful for them to hear that it will make them better caregivers, too.

What that looks like:

Thank them with a gift certificate. Treat them to a massage, facial, manicure/pedicure or another pampering treatment. But don’t stop there, or they may never use it. Help schedule the appointment, arrange care for their loved ones while they're away and provide transportation — or maybe have fun getting treated together.
Sign them up or buy tickets for a class, movie, art exhibit, festival, exercise session or another local community event. Better yet, pick them up and go with them!
Help them schedule their wellness checkups. Offer to do online research to help them find a health practitioner. Help them make appointments. Drive them to checkups and celebrate their self-care efforts by having lunch or coffee afterward.

What not to say:

“You need to take better care of yourself.”

“You look awful.”

“Just make time.”

“You should…(meditate, exercise, eat better, sleep more, etc.) every day.”

Why it matters: Caregivers know they are exhausted and overwhelmed – you don’t need to point it out to them. These phrases can feel hurtful and dismissive when they are struggling with self-care. They need practical help and encouragement with self-care, not judgments and unrealistic expectations.

6. Advocate for them

Family caregivers are the backbone of the long-term care system in the U.S., but they are often too busy and exhausted to advocate for themselves. So, speak up on their behalf; fight for family caregivers to get the support they need (and remember, you’ll likely be a caregiver, too, someday).

What that looks like:

Research local caregiver services. Contact the Area Agencies on Aging and ask what local home- and community-based services exist. Ask disease-specific organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association or Parkinson’s Foundation about caregiver support. Find out where the gaps are and how you can help.
Educate elected officials about why it’s important to support family caregivers. Make phone calls, email, send letters, sign petitions, participate in town hall meetings and ask legislators to support programs that help caregivers. Let legislators know this issue is important to you. Share caregiving stories with the media and others.
Be a role model. Family caregivers often tell me they feel invisible, and I can relate because of my own caregiving journey. Speak up. Tell mutual friends and family what’s happening. If you see a caregiver in a store or doctor’s office, hold the door or offer to carry their packages as they help their loved ones. Tell them what a good job they are doing and encourage others to do so, too.

What not to say:

“The system is broken; there’s nothing we can do about it. You just need to get through this.”

“Everyone deals with this. There’s no help.”

“We are powerless to make a change in this country.”

“Well, you chose this; it’s up to you to make it work.”

Why it matters: These comments can make caregivers feel hopeless and as if it’s their own fault that they are struggling. Instead, reassure them that you will help raise awareness and advocate for better services and supports for family caregivers.

Above all, remember that showing appreciation doesn’t have to be complicated or a grand gesture. As Jaclyn Strauss, a member of the AARP Family Caregivers Discussion Group, said in a comment recently, “A simple moment to pause and say thank you can go a really long way!” Carol Stinson, also a member, said, “Give me a big, sincere hug ... and maybe an ice cream cone too!"

So, I urge you to take a moment to thank the caregivers in your life today in a way that is meaningful to them — it may be a small thing to you, but it may make a bigger difference in their lives than you will ever know.

This story has been updated with new information and data.

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