AARP Hearing Center
We’re Ready to Kick Our Daughter Off Our Cellphone Plan
Here’s how parents should break the news
Jon Krause
Let’s admit it: Many of us are glued to our cellphones. So are our kids — and a lot of us are footing the bill, even when our children are fully fledged adults.
About one-third of millennials and 1 in 7 Gen Xers say they’re still on their parents' cellular plan, according to a recent survey by WhistleOut, a cellphone plan comparison website. The costs certainly add up: A four-person family plan with unlimited data from a major carrier runs around $200 a month on average, plus taxes and fees, NerdWallet reports.
More Ways to Benefit
- Related Benefit 1
- Related Benefit 2
- Related Benefit 3
- Related Benefit 4
- Related Benefit 5
How should parents break the news to their adult kid when they’re ready to stop paying their cellphone bill? It can be a touchy subject.
My wife and I have been paying for our daughter’s cellphone bill since she got her first iPhone at 15, but she just turned 25 and we think it’s time she gets her own plan. Some of our friends are still paying for their adult kid’s cellphone bill, but we don’t think it should be our responsibility any longer. How do we politely tell our daughter that she needs to either get her own cellular plan or at least start paying us for her portion of the family plan?
Whoa, hold up. Dad, did you submit this question? Do we need to have a chat?
My folks and I have been on the same cellular plan since 1998, the year I received my first mobile phone — a hand-me-down from my father — when I was 16. Occasionally, the topic of changing to separate plans gets raised, but then nothing ever comes of it. (I feel like I’m counting my lucky stars, considering my editor informed me that his parents booted him off their plan when he turned 24.)
Many kids stay on their parents’ cellphone plan long after they’ve crossed into adulthood — and in some cases, even after they’ve married and have kids of their own. Oftentimes, the arrangement is born out of convenience. Other parents simply forget they’re still paying for their adult kid’s phone service.
Now let’s turn to your question. Whether you keep your daughter on your plan is your choice — and your choice alone. Your friends’ arrangements with their kids don’t need to influence your decision, especially if you’re concerned about your living expenses in retirement or have recently encountered a financial setback.
However, your daughter has grown accustomed to this arrangement, meaning a cellular bill isn’t on her budget sheet yet. I don’t think you should pull the rug out from under her and kick her off your plan immediately.
Offering a buffer of one to two months, so that she has time to get her finances in order before taking on this new cost, is considerate. Also, keep an open mind — it may be cheaper for your daughter to remain on your plan and start paying for her usage instead of her getting her own plan. If it makes sense for everyone to stay on one plan, determine how much she’s going to pay you each month and when the money is due so that you’re on the same page.
When it’s time to deliver the news, let your daughter know that you’re ready to make a change: “Kelsey, we want to talk to you about the family cellphone plan. We feel it’s time for you to take on the role of paying for your plan.” Whether you explain it as a matter of principle or need is up to you, though I think an explanation can help your daughter better understand where you’re coming from and leave little room for assumptions or resentment.
Bottom line: Regardless of the catalyst, if it’s time for your daughter to start paying for her cellphone bill, then it’s time to have the conversation. (That said, Mom and Dad: I hope you’re not reading this!)
AARP Membership
Join AARP for only $15 per year with automatic renewal. Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of benefits, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP The Magazine.
More From AARP
Navigating Wedding Gift Etiquette: Cash or Gift?
Call me old-fashioned, but I was taught that just giving money isn’t very thoughtful
Tactful Tips to Split Restaurant Bills
The tactful way to ensure you don't pay for your dining companions' booze
Navigating Prenup Talks for People 50-Plus
Advice on prenup talks for mature couples