9 Quick Questions for Vanessa Bell Calloway

And how is your health? [Calloway was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 52.]

Before I got out of town [Los Angeles], I had all of my blood work, all of my doctor’s appointments … everything done. I came [to New York] feeling really good knowing that everything was fine for the next year.

What advice would you give to others who are facing a cancer diagnosis?

You have cancer. Don’t let it have you. And then I always say — I know it’s very easy to say, but since I’ve lived it, I can say this: Try not to live in that moment. What got me through my journey was to always project forward [and think] this time next month … this time next year … this time two years from now … because it gave me something to look forward to. So [I would think], This time next month my surgery will be over. Or, when the surgery came, Oh, in six weeks I get to drive. Oh, in six weeks or seven weeks I get to work out again … whatever it is, I just kept giving myself something new to look forward to. That helped me not live in the moment and be focused on whatever was going on at that moment — that day, that pain, that disappointment, whatever. I just said, This is OK, because this time next month I’m gonna feel better. And that’s what kept me going.

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Would you ever consider competing on Dancing With the Stars?

I would love to go on Dancing With the Stars. That is on my bucket list. I want to do that very badly because I am a trained dancer. I’m in my 60s, so of course, what I used to do, I could no longer do to that extent — but I’m still a beautiful dancer.

Did you bring your dog, Ziggy, to New York with you?

No, I did not. It would be unfair. First of all, this apartment will not take dogs, but then if they did, when I go to work, he’s gotta be here by himself. I can’t take him to the theater. … Both of my daughters have dogs and they’re together quite a bit. My husband [Anthony Calloway] walks him every day.

You and Anthony have been married for 35 years, and your daughter recently married. Did you give her any marriage advice?

I always tell people this: Everybody’s got to get up with a purpose and have something to do. If you are sitting at home waiting for the other person to come home, it’s not going to work after a while. Everybody has to wake up with somewhere to go, something to do, with their own purpose in life. That makes it interesting. It gives you your life, their life, and then you come together and you build a life together. And, of course, the communication, trust and manners. I think good manners are important in a marriage. My husband and I say: “Thank you, honey. I appreciate that.” “I love you.” “Would you please do that for me?” “Oh, thank you, that was so thoughtful of you.” I say something like that to my husband all the time. And that makes somebody want to do something else for you. Manners. Not taking people for granted. Talking kindly to each other in your home. Just something that little is so important.

What are your holiday plans?

Bell Calloway is back on stage at New York’s Music Box Theatre through early February.

Polk & Co.

My husband's probably going to [come to New York] through Christmas and New Year’s. I don’t think my kids are coming. They’ll stay on the West Coast. It’s a sacrifice, but it’s just for this one time and my family’s been very supportive of everything, so it’ll be fine. [When we’re home] we do gumbo. We have a tradition where a couple of days before Christmas, some of the kids’ friends will come over or our friends will come over. We’ll spend the day in the kitchen singing, dancing, drinking, eating food and making a big party, making a big bunch of gumbo. And then Christmas day, I call it my Texas barbecue — lobsters and steak and corn on the cob, gumbo, chicken. And we eat and have people around. My thing is I love setting my table for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I set my beautiful tables and you can come in your swimsuit — I don’t care.