How a Widow’s Memorial Day Facebook Posts Keep a Soldier’s Memory Alive

Each year, she honors him online and hears from those who remember his life

Jaclyn Greenberg,

AARP

Comments

Published May 20, 2026

a collage with sentimental photos of linda port and john hayden west

Various photos of PFC John West and Linda Port.

AARP (Courtesy Linda Port)

Each year around Memorial Day, my mom logs on to Facebook to share memories of her first husband, a Vietnam War soldier killed in action. What began as a way to honor him has grown into something more: a community of people who remember him and keep his story alive decades later.

I was named after him, linking me to a history Mom has carried for decades.

My mother, Linda Port, married her high school sweetheart, John Hayden West, when she was 21. His nickname was Jackie.

Losing her first love

Jackie enlisted in the Army, spent eight weeks in basic training, then completed advanced infantry training in Louisiana before being deployed in October 1968. Five months after Jackie arrived in Vietnam, while providing cover for the evacuation of wounded men, he was killed in action. The news of his death is a moment Mom will never forget.

“I remember watching the news on a Sunday night. They were reporting from the area where he was, and the fighting had escalated, and I just did not have a good feeling,” she says.

“Two days later, I got home from work and found two military men in my living room. My mother was seated, but they couldn’t tell her why they were there. At the time, [Jackie] was missing. That was a Tuesday. And then, Thursday morning, at 7 o’clock, the doorbell rang. There was a telegram telling me his remains had been found.”

linda port and john hayden west posing together on their wedding day

Linda and John West on their wedding day in 1968.

Courtesy Linda Port

Jackie was awarded a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star Medal for heroism in ground combat and for “personal bravery, determination and exemplary devotion in duty.”

Mom eventually remarried, and I was born nearly 10 years after Jackie’s death, just days from the anniversary. Over the years, I’ve heard stories about Jackie and how kind and sweet he was. I’ve seen photos from their wedding and his time in Vietnam, and when I married my high school sweetheart, Mom and I talked about the similarities in our lives.

Keeping his legacy alive

Now in her late 70s, Mom spends more time than ever before thinking about her first marriage.

“When I was younger, it was far too emotional for me to relive that time in my life,” she says. “At my age, there is more time to reflect, [especially on] those who have come and gone.”

She adds, “Jackie was such a wonderful person, loved by so many, and I was so fortunate to have his love, even for such a brief time. He deserves to have his memory kept alive.”

But many of the people who knew him, like Jackie’s siblings, have since passed on. To bridge that gap, Mom started sharing his story on social media.

Each year, around Memorial Day, she posts in four Facebook groups, two of which are about North Bergen, New Jersey, where she and Jackie grew up. What started as a way to honor his life and legacy has grown to include reconnecting with people from her childhood, meeting new people who knew Jackie and building a sense of community around his life.

Most Popular

In her posts, Mom feels strongly about drawing a distinction between Memorial Day and Veterans Day. “Memorial Day is for those who died in service, and Veterans Day is for those who [served and came home].”

But her primary goal is to use the wide net social media provides to carry on Jackie’s legacy. “It’s important that he not be forgotten,” she says. “I’m able to recognize his service, what he did.”

Initially, she wasn’t sure what kind of response she would get. But as comments poured in, she realized how many people remember Jackie fondly. Some of the comments she’s received include:

“Went to high school with Jackie. Played sports with and against him, and he was one of the nicest guys I ever met. RIP Brother.”
“Jackie was good friends with my brother and came to our house often. I remember him always and especially on these special days. Thank you for the biography and again sorry for your loss. He was a great guy.”
“There are so many people who remember him. Everybody who got to meet him loved him.”

These comments move Mom deeply. “It’s heartwarming to see so much outpouring of love, respect and recognition,” she says. “[Through social media], I’ve connected with people who knew him and still remember that time so well.”

For example, Mom reconnected with Terry Zielinski, who worked with her at a local bakery and knew Jackie from high school. They hadn’t spoken in decades, and their online connection gave Mom a way to remember happy moments with her friends.

Their reunion has been special for Zielinski too. “I love that your mom keeps Jackie’s memory alive through social media,” she says. “I see Jackie’s face, and it makes me smile. Jackie was a wonderful person, plain and simple.”

A small world story

Mom also met new people who opened her eyes to new details about Jackie’s life.

John Grossi was a few years behind Mom and Jackie in high school, but he knew Jackie as one of the school’s star football players, well enough to wave hello. The connection ran through Tom’s Luncheonette, a local diner where Grossi’s mother worked and where neighborhood athletes regularly came in after football and baseball games.

“A lot of those guys [who visited the diner] were the athletes in North Bergen, with Jackie being one of them,” says Grossi. “Jackie was instrumental [to the team]. I think they were undefeated. And a lot of it had to do with Jackie being the JV quarterback.”

Later, Grossi got his first job, delivering for a delicatessen, coincidentally owned by Mom’s cousin. Grossi brought the catering to Mom’s house after Jackie’s funeral.

john west wearing green army fatigues in vietnam

PFC John West in South Vietnam in 1968 or 1969.

Courtesy Linda Port

Grossi wrote his own Facebook post in Jackie’s memory, one that took him back to the delivery he’d made to the house after Jackie’s death, a moment whose weight he didn’t fully grasp at the time.

“I wrote this [post] about this guy who lived down the block,” he says. “About how I delivered food and … it just didn't really all sink in [what it was for]. But then I started to realize what he actually sacrificed and what it was.”

Mom saw the post and reached out to Grossi on Facebook.

“I probably passed your mother in high school a hundred times,” says Grossi. “I never knew who [she] was until Jackie had died. And then I found out that he had just married this girl, and I don’t think it was too much after that that he was killed over in Vietnam.”

The small world story gave them both something unexpected: a new way to hold on to him.

“We were a few years apart in high school, but time has bridged that gap,” Mom says. “Talking to John told me about a part of Jackie’s life that I didn’t know and allows me to [hold on to him] in another way.”

Baseball memorabilia and another great connection

Another decades-old story found its way back to Mom through Facebook. She connected with Charley Severino, one of Jackie’s old baseball buddies who had played an all-star game with him from ages 11 to 13, went to school with him and still visits the cemetery where he’s buried.

“I was a year ahead of Jackie, but I used to see him all the time,” Severino says. “He was one of the nicest guys I ever met.”

Severino also spent time in the Army and was in Vietnam himself when he heard about Jackie’s death. The news devastated him.

Years later, when Severino’s daughter was in elementary school, she went on a class trip to Washington, D.C., and Severino asked her to leave a baseball with a message near Jackie’s name at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. The ball was later collected, preserved as memorabilia and featured in a National Geographic story titled “The Wall at 25.”

Severino later came across Mom’s post and shared his memories, along with a photo of the baseball — creating another link to Jackie’s past.

“I didn’t know your mom and still have not met her [in person], but [our connection on social media] rekindled the memory,” Severino says. “[Those relationships] make you think of a lot of things, especially when she and I spoke. I think of all the good times we had.”

Creating an online community that keeps Jackie alive

Today, Mom showcases a photo of her and Jackie from their wedding day on the credenza in her living room, and she keeps a framed close-up photo of his face from his time in the Army on her desk.

She continues to post on social media, a tradition she looks forward to for the community it fosters. This year, Grossi invited Mom to his home for Memorial Day. He lives near the New Jersey Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial and Museum in Holmdel. It will be great for her to spend the day with someone who can help her relive happy times and find camaraderie over a difficult past.

linda port seated at a table with a cappucino

Linda (West) Port today

Courtesy Linda Port

“It’s been so many years, and [his memory is] just a scratch below the surface,” she said, dabbing at her tears with a tissue. “[He] doesn’t [just] disappear. [He] doesn’t become insignificant. He was my first love, my true love.”

She adds, “[The posts on social media each year] bring it all back in a positive, very warm, very emotional way. [They] bring him back to life.”

%{postComment}%

Jaclyn Greenberg lives on the East Coast and enjoys traveling with her family of five. She has written for The New York Times, CNN, Wired, Fodor’s and Parents.

Unlock Access to AARP Members Edition

Join AARP to Continue

Already a Member? Login

Recommended for You

Benefits Recommended For You

See All