Alone but not Lonely: 7 Secrets for Dining Out Alone from Solo Travelers

There’s no need to feel awkward about asking for a table for one

a solo diner smells food while reading a book and holding a drink in their hand. other colorful dining scenes are in the background

Don’t let fear of a table for one keep you from experiencing an amazing meal. Here are some strategies to make the most of dining alone as a solo traveler.

Molly Snee

Melanie Haiken,

AARP

Published January 21, 2025

It took a stormy night in Pamukkale, Türkiye, to show me it was time to get over my fear of dining alone in public. Dashing for my hotel room in a torrential downpour, I was drawn by the lamplit windows of a small dining room, cozy with kilim-covered pillows and jewel-toned carpets. Inside, enticing smells wafted from the kitchen as the proprietor stepped forward with a welcoming smile. But looking around at tables of laughing families and intimate couples, I froze. Blurting out a confused apology, I ducked out and returned to my room to cobble together a dispiriting meal of digestive biscuits, fruit, and cheese left over from lunch.

That was the last time, though, that I let fear of the table for one keep me from a good meal. Returning the next night, I found the tomato-rich stew, grilled eggplant, and savory meatballs even better than expected. Since then, I’ve treated myself to some of the best meals of my life, from squid ink pasta in Croatia and chilled beet soup in Poland to Louisiana gumbo and hearty diner breakfasts all over the U.S.

Plenty of other travelers face the same hurdle, as the rise in solo travel shows no sign of slowing. One recent survey by the travel insurance comparison company Squaremouth found that 42 percent of travelers were planning to travel alone in 2024. Meanwhile, Skift’s report on women travelers found that 21 percent of those 55 to 65 and 25 percent of those 65-plus were going solo, compared with just 4 percent of women 18-24. A recent survey by Road Scholar, which targets older adults, found an even bigger split, with women making up 85 percent of the company’s solo travelers. And many women, like me, feel particularly uncomfortable about dining alone, whether it’s out of self-consciousness, fear of unwanted attention, or discomfort with making small talk with strangers.

So here, to help my fellow travelers, are seven secrets that can make solo dining not only comfortable, but downright fun.

food in white dishes on top of a yellow tablecloth

A Turkish meal, clockwise from top: toasted bread, pomegranate salad, feta cheese and olives; and stewed eggplant.

Courtesy Melanie Haiken

1. It’s all about attitude

Analyzing why I felt so awkward dining alone, I realized that much of my anxiety stemmed from worrying about what others were thinking. Were they feeling sorry for me sitting all by myself, or annoyed that I was taking up a table that could seat two? “If you’re thinking that way, you have to give yourself a little pep talk,” says Nicci Hatzkilson, a travel adviser for Embassy Travel based in Portland, Oregon. “For some reason, we’ve been programmed to think that eating alone is sad, but it’s not, you’re cool. You’re traveling alone, and people are impressed by that.”

2. Avoid awkwardness with advance planning

Want a foolproof way to avoid the dreaded question: “will someone be joining you?” Make a reservation, which also allows you to do some advance research. “You can read the menu and look up photos online so you’re not walking into a place that feels so unfamiliar, and it’s less intimidating,” Hatzkilson says. “When I have a plan I start getting excited and looking forward to it.”

3. Be the watcher, not the watched

The best strategy I’ve found for overcoming self-consciousness is to turn the tables and indulge my love of people watching. After all, if I’m worried that they’re eyeing me, why not watch back and exercise my imagination about their stories? I also remind myself that I have every right to be here — and that most of those around me probably aren’t thinking about me. They’re too busy thinking about themselves.

4. Consider restaurant dining as cultural exploration

From paella and tapas in Spain and risotto in Italy to Hawaiian poke and Nashville hot chicken, regional dishes are one of travel’s great delights. “Food is such an important part of cultures all over the world, and the point of traveling is to be out there experiencing it all,” Hatzkilson says. Make eating out part of the discovery process and hesitation will vanish.

5. Make your meal catch-up time

Keeping busy is a well-established antidote to shyness, and mealtime is no different. While bringing a book or e-book to the table is a favorite strategy of many solo travelers, others make mealtime a chance to catch up on the news or social media. And if your phone is full of the day’s photos, why wait until you’re back in your hotel room to start sorting and editing?

6. Take timing and seating into account

Avoid that alone in a crowd feeling by going to dinner early before the dining room fills up — or fashionably late if you’re a night owl. Or you can opt for a counter seat when it’s crowded and take advantage of the opportunity to chat with the chef or your fellow travelers. In the mornings, a continental breakfast gives you more time to sight-see before grabbing lunch in the late morning.

7. Explore alternate settings

When you’re just not up for the full restaurant experience, try a picnic in the park or a sidewalk cafe. “Street-side dining feels more casual, and it’s fun to be part of the rhythm of the city,” says Hatzkilson. And don’t forget farmers markets; I’ve found arguably the best quiche in Paris and the freshest shrimp tacos in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, at outdoor stalls. Another option: Take a food tour and eat your way around town.

Solo dining also has one more important benefit: people are more likely to talk to you, whether they’re fellow travelers at the next table or curious wait staff. I can credit those conversations with some of my most exciting travel discoveries, from ghost towns and swimming holes to quirky museums and even a petroglyph-covered rock locals keep secret to protect it from vandals.

And it gets easier with practice. Whether you’re ordering tagliatelle in an Italian trattoria or gumbo in Louisiana, you’ll soon be making the world your kitchen.

%{postComment}%

San Francisco-based journalist Melanie Haiken writes about travel, science, health and the environment for dozens of publications including National Geographic, BBC, Condé Nast Traveler, CNN, Sierra and AARP. She shares her adventures and travel tips at Health-Conscious.Travel.com.

Unlock Access to AARP Members Edition

Join AARP to Continue

Already a Member? Login