Looking for a Special Start to an Email? Avoid This Opener

Try some new ideas to connect with your recipients

Judy Mandell,

AARP

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Published April 21, 2025

Avoid the overused phrases and try these email starters instead.

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Root out clichés • Canned phrases don’t impress • Some alternatives • Other nonstarters

An email from someone I didn't know recently landed in my inbox.

It started, “I hope this finds you well.” I get this type of email introduction from people all the time, and it’s really annoying.

I considered responding, “Actually, I’m not well. Last week I had a medical procedure that went badly, and I ended up in the hospital. Want to hear more?” I thought better of that reply because my wry humor also would not have made a good first impression.

Your first email to someone is all about making a positive initial encounter to avoid being sent to Windows' Recycle Bin or Apple’s Trash can. The first emails, created in August 1965, were limited to a little more than 300 characters and spaces because disk space was scarce and expensive.

The previous paragraph almost hit that limit.

The contents of those first emails have been lost to history. But I’m willing to wager that they were more akin to the first phone call’s “Mr. Watson, come here” than “I hope you are well.”

‘These phrases have become the digital equivalent of a fake smile.’

— Cheril Clarke, Phenomenal Writing consulting firm

I’m not the only one who finds these more modern email openers irritating. When Catharine Hamm was travel editor at the Los Angeles Times, she dreaded receiving those emails from prospective contributors and their publicists.

“It is by God’s grace that I am well, but what if I weren’t?” she asked. “I’m sure I would be even more upset.”

Related: We All Have a Story to Tell

Pleasantries shouldn’t be formulaic

As an opener, “I hope you are well,” is benign. You could argue that the writer is trying to be polite. It's brief, not even approaching the old Twitter's original 140-character limit.

So why is that short sentence so irritating?

“These phrases have become the digital equivalent of a fake smile,” says founder Cheril Clarke of Phenomenal Writing, an Atlanta-based communications consulting firm. “They seem thoughtless and autonomous. Most messages aren’t written with the recipient in mind, and this phrase reminds us of that. Worse, if someone truly isn’t doing well, this email feels disconnected and self-serving.”

Try this, not that

Then what is an alternative?

“When crafting an email, every word counts,” whether you’re looking for a professional connection or a friendship, says Bethany Skorik, an etiquette coach and founder of the Charming Diplomat based in Marinette, Wisconsin. An opening line should address the matter at hand.

Some examples from Skorik:

“I’m looking forward to working with you.” This expresses interest in future opportunities and sets the tone for a business collaboration.

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“I’m so thankful that [mutual acquaintance] connected us.” This reminds someone of how you met.

“It’s wonderful to meet another [insert descriptive term that clarifies your tie, such as a school you both attended].” This emphasizes a bond or commonality.

“I attended [conference name] and received your contact information from [mutual acquaintance].” Make sure your mutual contact’s name is in the first sentence so the recipient will see this and know the message isn’t spam.

“I follow you on LinkedIn and was intrigued by your latest post on [topic].” Influencers and others posting on social media want to share their knowledge or expertise and may be flattered to hear that their words made an impression.

'Finds you well' isn't the only phrase to steer clear of

Other common openers to avoid, especially if the email is the first time you’re contacting someone:

“It’s nice to ‘meet’ you virtually.” While this phase probably has been in use since the first Skype calls in 2003, it became a cliché during the pandemic. Microsoft is shutting down Skype on May 5, and maybe that’s a signal for you to retire the phrase too.

“I’d like to offer my services.” Instead, tailor the opening sentences to your recipient to draw the person in before trying to sell something.

“I hope you don’t mind me reaching out to you directly” sounds overly passive and minimizes anything that follows.

“I saw you at [location] and knew I had to reach out.” This has an underlying stalker tone.

Improve it by including the reasoning in the same sentence: “I saw you at the Maritime Conference and knew I had to reach out to hear more about your work with sustainability.”

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