A Primer on Video Call Etiquette

From Zoom to FaceTime, even the most tech-savvy people can find themselves fumbling over the do’s and don’ts of group video calls

Lizzie Post,

AARP

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Published April 24, 2026

an illustration shows a person behaving awkwardly through several frames of a video call

From greetings to goodbyes, group video calls have different expectations than in-person conversations.

Jon Krause

Video calls went from convenient to essential during the COVID‑19 pandemic, reshaping almost overnight how people work, learn, receive health care and stay socially connected.

But whether you’re using Zoom or FaceTime, Teams or Google Meet, it can be hard to know the exact etiquette, especially as rules and expectations might change with the technology. The anonymous reader below asks a timely question about navigating this increasingly widespread form of communication.

I feel like there are so many options to contend with on a video call: camera on or optional? What should I say to the one person not on-camera? If you want to speak up, do you use the raise-hand feature or just try to jump in? Should I be muted if I’m not talking? What’s the grace period for joining a video call, and what should I do if I’m running late? Finally, quiet leave versus official goodbye? I really just want to get it all right and not question others’ behavior.

Ahhhh, the video call. It’s so useful, annoying, confusing and wonderful, all at the same time!

Let’s go through your questions one by one to create a personalized primer on video call etiquette.

Camera on or off? The point of a video call is to see each other and, in some cases, to use AI note-taking or share a screen. We suggest that if you don’t need video (or any video call features), don’t set up a video call. If being on-screen during the video call is optional, include this information in the invitation so attendees are aware. There are times when it’s important that everyone is on-camera for a meeting. In these instances, if someone’s video is off, it’s OK for the host to ask them to turn it on. “Jeff, could you please turn your camera on? We think it’s important to see/we want to see everyone on this one.”

Should you “raise your hand” or just jump in? This depends on the call. If no request has been made to use it and there are eight to 10 people or fewer, you’re probably good to jump in as you would if you were all gathered around a table having the conversation. Even with lax rules around when to talk, you can still utilize the “raise your hand” feature to clearly indicate you’d like a chance to speak.

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Should I be muted when I’m not speaking? If the call has more than five people, muting is probably a good move. For smaller calls, it’s not necessary. Consider your circumstances. If you’re chatting with friends or family while you prep dinner, muting will cut down your background noise for everyone else on the call and will be much appreciated! Just remember to unmute when you want to talk.

What is the grace period for attending a video call, and what should I do if I’m running late? Video calls have a much shorter grace period than in-person meetings and gatherings: about five minutes. If you’re going to be late, it’s imperative that you reach out via email or text to let someone on the call know that you’ll be late. Ask them to communicate that and your apologies to the group.

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How should you say goodbye on a video call? For smaller gatherings, say, 15 people or fewer, it’s important to say your goodbyes verbally if you can. Unmute if you need to and do your best to say goodbye (and hear a few goodbyes) before the host closes out the call. If the call is in the 15- to 50-person range, you can say goodbye verbally or in the chat, then exit without waiting for replies. If the call is larger, you can exit without saying goodbye. If you have to leave early and the group is more than five to eight people, rather than interrupting the call to excuse yourself, write your goodbye in the chat: “Excuse me, I have to leave, thank you all for your time today….”

How much of my room should people be able to see? It depends on the circumstances and the room itself. Your messy bedroom? Sure, when it’s just you and your sister FaceTiming. A clean living room, dining room, kitchen, den, porch or office? Yes, absolutely, just make sure you’re large enough in the camera’s frame so that people can see your face easily. For work calls, where you might be in a living room or dining room, do your best to minimize personal items and instead opt for simple decor in the background (a plant, a painting, some bookshelves) or use an appropriate background if the platform has that feature.

Throughout any video call, keep basic courtesies in mind and focus on your own behavior rather than others’.

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Lizzie Post is the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette legend Emily Post. She’s the co-president of The Emily Post Institute, co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette: the Centennial Edition and Emily Post's Business Etiquette. She is co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast.

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