5 Financial Mistakes That Will Make Your Kids Hate You

If you’re not financially able to leave your kids an inheritance or have other plans for who will get your assets, be up front about it, says Micaela Capelle, a social worker with Sunshine Home Share, a Denver nonprofit that offers financial wellness programs for adults 55 and older.

“Some people don’t have a goal to leave a legacy,” she says. “They say, ‘You know what? It’s a tough world out here. I need to spend everything I can.’ Or “I really want to travel, and that’s OK not to leave money for my kiddos.”

When you’re ready to have an in-depth conversation with your kids about your assets, Capelle advises, choose the right time and setting (please, not over Thanksgiving dinner) and acknowledge that everyone might not be comfortable with the subject. Give your kids the opportunity to ask questions. Establish follow-up steps, such as providing them with your login credentials for online accounts and letting them know where to find your house’s deed, car titles and other important documents like passports, marriage certificates and birth certificates. 

Staying silent after a scam

If you were a victim of fraud, know that you’re far from alone. According to the Federal Trade Commission, consumers over age 60 reported an estimated $2.4 billion in fraud losses in 2024 — and the actual amount is likely significantly higher, since many fraud victims don’t report incidents to the authorities.

There’s often a sense of shame around being a scam victim. But concealing it from your children, or denying that it happened, could drive a wedge when the information comes to light.

“It sometimes leads the kids to be really mad at Mom or Dad for being a victim, not understanding that they were coerced into believing something that wasn’t true over time and with sophisticated techniques,” says Kathy Stokes, senior director of fraud prevention for the AARP Fraud Watch Network.

Stokes says that scams targeting older adults are becoming increasingly sophisticated. Cryptocurrency scams, where criminals promote phony investments in bitcoin, ethereum, solana or other digital assets, are rising especially fast. 

If you think you’ve been the victim of a scam, report it to the police. You can also call the free AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline at 877-908-3360 to talk with a trained fraud specialist about what to do next and how to avoid future scams. 

Under-budgeting for retirement

People ages 55 to 70 tend to underestimate how long they’re going to live, according to 2025 research published by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College. That can lead them to miscalculate how much they need to save for retirement.

Don’t make that mistake. Create a financial plan that assumes you’re going to live to 100, says Melissa George, a fee-based financial adviser based in Atlanta. You’ll be less likely to exhaust your savings, and to put your kids in the position of taking financial responsibility for you.

“When I’m doing a retirement income plan, my first [step] is to make sure they don’t outlive their money,” George says.

In particular, consider how you’re going to pay for out-of-pocket health care costs as you age. A healthy 65-year-old man who retired in 2025 and has a Medicare Advantage plan will spend an estimated $128,000 on health care expenses during retirement, on average, while a healthy woman in the same situation will spend approximately $148,000, according to research firm Milliman.

Be diligent about updating beneficiaries for your insurance policies and retirement accounts. “You can put whatever you want down in the will, but if a beneficiary is listed someplace else, that’s who the money goes to,” George says. Many people “never update their beneficiaries after a major life event,” she says. 

Playing favorites with inheritance

Your estate plan should serve as a road map for your heirs, McPherson says, not a cudgel to change their behavior or settle scores. Unless you want the reading of your will to turn into a family soap opera, consider the consequences of cutting one of your kids out.

Still, says it’s OK to vary your bequests rather than dividing your assets equally among your kids, George says: “You have different children, they have different personalities, different desires, different wants.”

For example, one child might want to inherit your house, while the other might prefer to inherit cash. This is another reason to openly discuss your will with your kids. Ask them what they want to inherit and consider their requests in setting your estate plan. “I think that helps for a child to really feel like, You listened to me, you heard me, this is the thing I wanted,” George says.