Her Manifestation Revelation Was Not What She Expected

The author learns that her thoughts can be magic — but not quite in the way she envisioned

Melina Bellows,

AARP

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Published February 14, 2025

a peacock with allow think happy thoughts here and now written around it

Melina Bellows creates mixed-media collage art for friends based on a word that they would want to manifest in 2025. She incorporated her chosen word, "ALLOW," into this piece.

Melina Bellows

This is the third installment in a series. Read Bellows’ first column, which covers her introduction to manifestation, here. Read her second column, which reveals how she dealt with her first manifestation challenge, here. Read her fourth column, which chronicles her meeting with self-help guru Deepak Chopra, here. Read her fifth column, which covers her meeting with a spiritual medium, here.

“Happy birthday!” chirped my friend Susan as she handed me a beautifully wrapped book. I tore off the paper and read the first line: “The universe doesn’t give a f--- about you.”

I blinked, startled. What kind of birthday message was this? The book was Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything by neuroscientist James R. Doty, M.D., an adjunct professor at Stanford University and director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education.

Intrigued, I kept reading: “This is good news. The universe doesn’t give a f--- about you, not because you are unworthy or out of alignment with the cosmos, or cursed for generations. No, the universe doesn’t give a f--- about you because it has no f---s to give.”

Considering my recent breakup, it certainly felt like the universe was fresh out of f---s. But in the months following my three sessions with writer and mentor Suzanne Eder, my life had undergone a profound transformation. I felt noticeably happier — singing to my pets spontaneously, bopping to the car radio like a teenager. Unhappy people don’t unconsciously do things like that. My weight, a lifelong struggle, stabilized at a low number without my usual obsessive discipline.

My kids were thriving in college, and instead of grieving my empty nest, I felt overwhelming gratitude for their independence. Opportunities I’d long desired — like joining a book club with new people — fell effortlessly into place. My professional life was booming. After being invited to teach a Master Class on “The Transformational Power of Fun” at NYU, I received another invitation to guest-lecture a graduate-level communications course at Johns Hopkins.

And yet, the more joyful my life became, the more I felt a quiet dissatisfaction in my relationship. My boyfriend and I had discussed marriage, but his entrepreneurial lifestyle as the CEO of a start-up felt chaotic and mismatched with my newfound sense of inner peace.

Finally, I told him.

His response stunned me. He wasn’t angry or defensive — just quiet. “I understand,” he said, as if this wasn’t the first time he’d thought about it. The breakup was heartbreakingly civil, so undramatic it felt surreal. And yet, in the days and weeks that followed, I felt an undeniable lightness, as though I’d freed myself from a weight I hadn’t realized I was carrying.

Weeks later, over lunch, he admitted feeling some relief, too. His honesty hit me like a slap, and I found myself crying in the middle of an Irish pub.

I thought we were going to grow old together. Had I made the right choice?

I checked in with Eder to see if relationship “blow-ups” were common collateral damage during spiritual growth.

Her response was both reassuring and empowering:

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“Whenever we grow in self-awareness and open to more of who we are, our lives change accordingly,” she emailed back. “You gained newfound clarity and acted on it. Don’t see it as things blowing up, but rather as things opening up in new and wonderful ways.”

She was right. My life wasn’t falling apart — it was expanding.

There’s science behind manifestation

With my newfound time, I returned to my old love of mixed-media collage. I asked friends what single word would they want to manifest in 2025 and surprised them with framed, bespoke art pieces featuring their chosen word and likeness. Their joy fueled my own, inspiring me to improve my skills.

My word? Allow.

Yet the question lingered: What was really happening here? My life seemed to be aligning in miraculous ways, but what was driving these changes? Was it neuroscience, spirituality or something else entirely?

Doty’s research offered a clue. On his wildly popular podcast with author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins (over 1.8 million YouTube views), Doty explained that manifestation wasn’t magic — it was brain science. By writing down goals, repeating them aloud and visualizing them, you activate your brain’s networks in ways that prioritize and pursue those goals.

Melina Bellows works on her mixed-media collage artwork.

Courtesy Melina Bellows

It’s a powerful blend of psychology and neurobiology. Writing down goals engages sensory inputs, while repeating them shifts your brain’s default network, creating “new tracks” that reinforce success. Once these goals gain salience, they ignite key brain systems: the attention network (spotting opportunities), the salience network (prioritizing goals), and the executive-control network (driving action). This aligned perfectly with what Eder had taught me: Replacing negative self-talk with positive intentions creates a neural environment for success.

Many authors, healers and celebrities claim there’s also a spiritual dimension to manifestation. In Barbra Streisand’s memoir, My Name is Barbra, she twice quotes Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “At the moment of commitment, the entire universe conspires to assist you.”

Oprah describes this as raising your “vibration” to attract positive outcomes — operating at a higher level of consciousness defined by love, joy and gratitude.

A serendipitous meeting

And then the universe threw me a curveball.

Curious about this “vibration,” I had a chance encounter at the Geneva airport that defied logic. I overheard a man ahead of me mention he was also flying to Mallorca, where I was headed to deliver a keynote speech. He was tall and handsome, with glasses and shoulder-length salt-and-pepper hair, and something about him radiated an uncanny familiarity that melted my usual shyness.

“Can I follow you to the terminal?” I asked.

We fell into an easy conversation, and I soon learned his name: Rollin McCraty, Ph.D, a psychophysiologist and research director at the HeartMath Institute. His work focuses on how emotions influence cognition, behavior and health, as well as the energetic interconnectivity between humans and Earth. (Yes, I googled him when he went to the restroom.)

Rollin McCraty, a psychophysiologist and research director at the HeartMath Institute, bumped into Melina Bellows at the Geneva airport. Was it just a chance encounter, or something more?

Courtesy Rollin McCarty

Wait, what? Was this serendipity? Manifestation? Magic?

Soon, we were sitting at Starbucks, where McCraty attached a pulse sensor to my earlobe to demonstrate how emotions affect heart rhythms. He explained that positive emotions like love and gratitude create physiological “coherence,” syncing the heart, brain and nervous system.

“Humans are fundamentally energy,” McCraty said. “Our hearts emit magnetic fields that influence not just us, but those around us. What we feel inside doesn’t stop at our skin — it’s measurable.”

Was I broadcasting gratitude and joy into the universe? And was the universe responding?

Our flight was called before we could finish the demo, but we exchanged numbers, and he invited me to attend Deepak Chopra’s Sages & Scientists symposium. Though I couldn’t attend, I reached out to Chopra, whose teachings had been my spiritual gateway decades earlier.

I first met Chopra in 1994 at an intimate dinner party for his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. I was working for a magazine and had been sent in my boss’s place. Sitting next to Chopra, I brazenly told him I wanted to “self-actualize,” not fully understanding the term but loving how it sounded. When I admitted I didn’t know how to meditate, he arranged private lessons with his own instructor. That was 35 years ago. I’ve meditated on and off ever since.

When I get word back that Deepak is willing to connect on a Zoom call, I decide to ask the guru the ultimate question: Is manifestation magic or science? Stay tuned for his surprising answer.

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.

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Melina Bellows is the author of the series Totally Random Questions, 101 Wild and Weird Questions and Answers, and president of Fun Factory Press, a publishing business specializing in children’s nonfiction content.