Can Your Thoughts Change the Trajectory of Your Life?

Eder mentions living in Wilmington, Delaware, just as I’m whizzing past her exit sign after dropping my son at college. I note the coincidence.

That night, I email the author a thank-you note via the Contact Me button on her website. I inquired if she had any upcoming workshops to learn more about (for me) and possibly write about (for her). I hit “send” and begin Googling scientific studies about some of the elements in manifestation. I learn that positive self-talk leads to physical and mental gains in emotional regulation, according to a 2024 study. That makes sense.

I also read that visualizing our desires can increase the likelihood of them happening, according to a 2018 study.

In fact, 90 percent of Olympic athletes, including swimmer Michael Phelps and gymnast Suni Lee, do this.

Boom.

‘You've always deserved to be happy’

The next day, I hear back from Eder. Two weeks later during the first of three private sessions, I download my life basics.

“I’ve worked hard to launch my kids, and I worked all summer to get my house ready to go on the market. My dad died after a long illness. For the first time in a long time, if ever, I feel like I’ve earned the right to see what makes me happy,” I tell her.

Suzanne Eder

Courtesy Suzanne Eder

Eder, a former CPA who got the calling to change her life while attending a holistic health conference, gently corrects me in a soft-spoken, no-nonsense way. She’s less woo-woo yoga instructor and more super-organized friend setting me straight.

“You’ve always deserved to be happy. That’s not something you had to earn,” she says.

Eder explains that our emotions are our guides. When we’re happy, we are on the right track. When we’re not, it’s a clue that we’re out of alignment.

“What do you want to feel more of in your life?” she asks. “The work I do with most people is to shift them from thinking to feeling. Drop awareness from the busy mind. The wisdom is in the heart, not the head.”

“I want to feel more delight,” I say. “I just got booked to deliver a keynote speech in Mallorca, Spain. I’ve recently signed up with an agent to do public speaking. If all goes well, this could be a lucrative new opportunity to support myself. The idea gives me a lift.”

Eder has me put my hand on my heart and practice the feeling of delight. Evoking it is harder than it may seem. I can think of things that delight me, but the feeling is as evasive as a puddle seeping away as I try to define the sensation.

Ironically, I’m trying to feel delight, but what I’m feeling is frustration.

“Watch the self-judgment; it never helps,” she says. “The real work is to try to reach for the most loving thought you can at any given time.”

An opportunity to ‘pre-pave my future’

We finish our session with homework assignments. The first is to notice and catalog all delightful experiences during my day and keep track of them. I have a daily journaling practice, so this will be easy and, according to Eder, productive because it will pre-pave my future.

“Appreciating and savoring the delights you experience will amplify them,” she explains.

She also wants me to sit and practice all positive feelings, including joy, delight and compassion. Practicing emotions like they’re piano lessons seems weird. Yet there’s a lot of new science about the brain’s neuroplasticity and how strengthening pathways leads to improved cognitive skills, mental health and mood.

We set a follow-up meeting for two weeks later.

In the meantime, I do my homework. And I recommend Eder’s book to my friend Karen, whose daughter has Friedreich’s ataxia (FRDA), a genetic, progressive, neurodegenerative movement disease that has no known cure.

Little did I know that I was about to enter the Twilight Zone. Three inexplicable chance meetings were about to set my life on a new course. I had poked the genie, and it was about to go into overdrive.

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.