Exclusive: Gen X and Baby Boomers Are Looking for True Romance

Romantic idealism is alive and well. Fifty-eight percent of 50-plus singles say they believe in love at first sight, up from 43 percent in 2014, the last time questions about it were included in the survey.

Seven in 10 people believe in forever love, and 66 percent believe in destiny when it comes to relationships.

Is Cooper surprised by this rush to romance? Not really. “If you had a loving and wonderful marriage or previous long-term relationship, you are more likely to be primed to fall in love with someone else,” she says.

Dating misconceptions and misunderstandings. This year’s data indicates that there’s a deep divide between men and women, with 77 percent of 50-plus singles reporting that misconceptions by the opposite sex have affected their dating life.

Among the findings:

• 29 percent of men believe women wrongly assume they’re interested only in sex.
• 19 percent of men say they are unfairly perceived as lacking emotional intelligence.
• 24 percent of men feel they are wrongly seen as commitment phobic.
• 24 percent of women say they are unfairly viewed as seeking a provider rather than an equal partner.
• 22 percent of women say they are misjudged as preferring casual sex over serious relationships.

Gesselman says mismatches in perception are fueling misunderstandings — and that they should be addressed sooner rather than later if you are actively dating.

She says a lot of people, early in the dating process, avoid talking about what kind of relationship they’re looking for because they don’t want to scare the other person away. But, she adds, “this data about misconceptions shows they really should be having those conversations. Getting those conversations out there could really help daters better understand one another before moving forward.”

Interested in porn? Not so much. Half of 50-plus singles report they’ve never watched porn, and only about a third say they engage with it monthly. Interestingly, 48 percent believe porn warps how people view sex — especially when it comes to their own performance or skill set. 

“Most people have this conception that others are watching pornography or sexually explicit media and are measuring their own performance against it,” Cooper says. As a result, she adds, they tend to feel extremely self-critical or self-conscious about their own sexual ability, technique and stamina.

While porn use is low in this group, Gesselman says the impact is still very real. “We don’t have to personally consume porn for it to impact us,” she notes.

AI joins the dating game. For real. In a dramatic shift, the study found that AI is now a player in modern dating — largely with younger singles, but 50-plus adults are beginning to use it, too, to help improve their odds of finding love.

For the most part, Gesselman says singles use AI to spruce up their online dating profile and figure out a good opener for the first text message they send to a match. 

In 2023, the only other time the Singles in America Survey asked about AI, only 1 percent of 50-plus adults had used AI in the context of dating. This year, 10 percent had turned to the technology. 

Looking ahead, 34 percent want AI to filter matches for better compatibility, while 28 percent would use it to create in-person conversation starters for a date. 

“AI isn’t replacing intimacy; it’s giving singles an edge,” Gesselman says.

But here’s a heads-up: Sixty-six percent of singles 50-plus would consider it a deal-breaker if someone did use AI in online dating, particularly if they used it for every online conversation beyond that first text (36 percent) or to alter their photos (49 percent).

Rethinking gender roles. In the survey, heterosexual singles were asked: How do you feel about traditional gender roles in relationships like men handling finances and home repairs, and women managing household tasks and caregiving? 

Almost half said they prefer more modern, flexible gender roles (53 percent of women, 39 percent of men, when broken down). Thirty percent said they don’t care either way, and 22 percent said they prefer traditional roles in their relationships.  

That so many prefer a modern gender role goes against stereotype, Gesselman says. “Interestingly, women in the 50-plus group are more strongly preferring modern roles compared to their younger counterparts, albeit only a 5 percent difference. This suggests that 50-plus singles value their independence more than many of us would have expected, and they don’t want to be forced into outdated roles.”