How I’m Strengthening My Intuition

I’m treating that flash of insight like a muscle I can exercise to help make smarter decisions

Melina Bellows,

AARP

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Published January 14, 2026

a woman holding a torch faces a lighted path through the woods

Monica Garwood

Welcome to Ethels Tell All, where the writers behind The Ethel newsletter share their personal stories related to the joys and challenges of aging. Come back Wednesday each week for the latest piece, exclusively on AARP Members Edition.

My eyes blinked open in the predawn pitch-darkness of my parents’ guest bedroom in Westchester, New York. Instinctively, I pulled on my clothes, left a note on the kitchen table and drove 20 minutes to my father’s hospital bedside. Within the next hour, as the rest of my family slept, he would pass as I held his hand.

The doctors thought he would linger for days, and yet I woke up knowing I had to go to my father. Was it my subconscious piecing together unspoken cues? Or was it something beyond logic — something more connected to energy and presence?

Mysteriously yet undoubtedly, my intuition told me exactly what to do and when to do it. These intermittent flashes of insight have never steered me wrong. And yet I long for intuition to be my constant companion rather than an occasional visitor.

When my book club picked Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette as our first read, I decided to lean in and see if there was a way to make my inner GPS more reliable. Could intuition be cultivated? Strengthened? Or was it simply an inexplicable, fleeting phenomenon?

Choquette believes that intuition is not some mystical gift reserved for a select few but an innate ability that we all possess — and can sharpen with practice. Her book lays out a blueprint for tuning in to what she calls our “vibes,” offering practical ways to strengthen that connection. Her tips include:

Ask for guidance. Speak to your intuition like you would a friend, posing questions and remaining open to subtle responses.

Make space for quiet. Meditation, deep breathing, even long walks alone, can help clear mental clutter and make room for intuitive nudges.

Follow your joy. Intuition thrives when we engage in what lights us up, whether that’s creative pursuits, movement or moments of genuine curiosity.

Surround yourself with high-vibe people. Energy is contagious. Spending time with those who trust their instincts can help you refine your own.

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Stay playful. Choquette suggests that intuition often arrives in moments of play and wonder rather than pressure or stress.

Some of the women in the book club shared their stories about tapping into their intuition. Danielle’s marriage was on the brink of ending — the divorce papers were ready, and lawyers were pressuring her to sign. But when her husband asked for a three-month pause, something inside her urged her to comply. Searching for clarity, she began researching divorce, spoke to a therapist and attended an intensive three-day retreat, immersing herself in deep reflection and healing. By day two, she had confronted some childhood traumas, and on day three, she realized she wanted to stay in her marriage. Trusting her intuition, she called her husband, and together they chose to start anew, building their relationship from the ground up. “There was magic to it,” Danielle reflects. “I was led by my intuition completely.”

Dana, a freelance production executive, says she automatically senses a gut feeling about both people and new work possibilities. Once, she was presented with two opportunities. “One was in my wheelhouse and one was farther out of it,” she says. But “the one that should have played to my strengths didn’t feel right.” In the end, Dana turned it down. “The production was plagued with hitches and challenges, and I sighed in relief that I had avoided it.” The more challenging job she took went off without a hitch.

I loved the idea that intuition could be strengthened like a muscle and wondered if there was actual science to back it up. It turns out that researchers have been trying to unravel intuition for years. A 2016 study published in Psychological Science suggests that “intuition might indeed be something that can be improved with practice.”

In a recent conversation, Deepak Chopra gave me a simple but profound way to distinguish intuition from the noise of the ego. “If there’s fear attached to it, it’s from the ego,” he told me. “If it’s playful, it’s from the spirit.”

It isn’t the anxious voice that warns, You’ll regret this! or the pressure-filled You have to act now or else. It’s the quiet knowing that arrives with a sense of ease — like the way I just knew to get out of bed and be with my father in his final hour.

I’ve started experimenting with these lessons: paying attention to the signals, practicing stillness, embracing play. I remind myself that intuition isn’t about predicting the future but about aligning with the present in a way that makes each step feel more natural.

Maybe my intuition is still an occasional visitor. But these days, at least, I’m leaving the door wide open.

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.

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Melina Bellows is an award-winning author, media executive, and speaker with a passion for storytelling, purpose-driven brands, and empowering the next generation. Her latest book, The Lost Women of Science, shines a light on the overlooked pioneers who helped shape modern science.