The New Rules for Dating in Your 50s

Less time now? New priorities? How to get back into the pool — and even find joy in the process

Leslie Quander Wooldridge,

AARP

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Published March 12, 2025

A detailed illustration of a bar setting, highlighting the patrons' interactions.

Jared Oriel

If you’re single in your 50s, you’re in good company. About 29 percent of U.S. adults ages 50 to 64 say they’re unpartnered, according to Pew Research Center. That’s higher than the percentage of 30- and 40-somethings (21 percent) who say the same.

Whether you’re newly single or never married, you’ve probably noticed that dating is different in your 50s. There are fewer prospects, for one thing, since the majority of people your age are already in relationships. You also likely have more demands on your time than in your early dating years, whether due to family obligations, work or caregiving. What you’re looking for in a romantic partner may have changed, too, now that finding a coparent for future kids may be off the table. Just 27 percent of Gen X singles who have been married say they want to get married again, according to a 2023 study by Match.

Dating via websites and apps may seem like a good way to meet age-appropriate singles — 23 percent of U.S. adults in their 50s have tried a platform at some point, according to Pew — but they definitely have their downsides. In fact, among people over 50, 38 percent of men and 57 percent of women say their online dating experiences have been negative, Pew found.

So what are the best ways to date in your 50s — and have fun doing it? Experts suggest these tips.

Be intentional. Focus on “quality over quantity” of dates, advises Francesca Maximé, a licensed psychotherapist in New York. Lara Starr, 55, a publicist in San Anselmo, California, who is widowed, has a simple test to decide whether to accept a second date: “I ask myself, Would I rather spend more time with him, or would I rather stay home and watch Netflix?”

Expand your “type.” That goes for looks, race or ethnicity, profession and even age — whether older than you or younger than you. “People tend to live in the past and re-create what they knew, as opposed to trying to establish something new,” says Lawrence Siegel, a clinical sexologist who has researched dating and intimacy issues among older adults. “We’ve got to figure out who we are now, what we want now, what’s important to us now,” he adds.

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Know your own mind. “People get caught up in what society wants — what we’re supposed to do,” Siegel says. Dig deep and acknowledge what you want from a relationship. Then make sure you’re upfront with dates about what that is. Keith Zendler, 59, an unmarried Detroit entrepreneur, says his definition of dating success has changed since he was younger. Now, he says, it means “finding a real companion.”

Go beyond tech. Try the apps, sure, but don’t limit yourself to them. Consider signing up for a new activity that brings you into regular contact with the same people — a class, a club, a volunteer gig — since those people may turn into friends, casual dates or more. Bonus: New experiences in your 50s can have brain benefits, such as creating “more dendritic connections that keep your brain alive,” says Stan Tatkin, a relationship therapist and best-selling author of Wired for Love.

Enjoy the ride. There’s no set deadline or destination for spending time with an interesting new person in your 50s. “Dating really should be a process of getting to know this person and getting to know myself with this person,” Siegel says. “Approaching it from a perspective of discovery can make a big difference.”