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Older adults are romantics at heart, but they still want a spicy sex life, according to a new Kinsey-Match survey.
Many assume older adults would be less romantic since they’ve had years of experience with relationships ending, says Amanda Gesselman, a Kinsey research scientist who studies people’s sexual and romantic lives. But the data showed quite the opposite.
“Adults 50 and over have lived long, rich lives; they know what real love feels like, and they believe it’s still out there waiting for them,” Gesselman says.
But the survey — which polled 2,213 50-plus adults — also showed that just because older adults believe in true love doesn’t mean they want "vanilla" sex.
Here is more on that and the other main takeaways from the latest “Singles in America” study, released by Match in conjunction with the Kinsey Institute, an educational research institute that is part of Indiana University.
Vanilla sex? No thank you. Forty-two percent of singles 50-plus said a partner who is content with having only vanilla sex would be a relationship deal-breaker. Vanilla sex is defined in the survey as “sex without much variety or adventure,” such as sex only in the missionary position. Gesselman’s take on the finding? “They still want adventure. A desire for a fun, exciting sex life doesn’t go away once you hit 50.”
Sexual chemistry? Yes please. A striking 91 percent of 50-plus singles say sexual chemistry isn’t optional — it’s essential for a romantic relationship. And 74 percent claim they can gauge it within the first three dates.
“Sexual chemistry is nonnegotiable for people over 50, just like it is for younger singles, and a lot of that chemistry comes from feeling comfortable and emotionally open with their sexual partners,” Gesselman notes.
To drill down further, 59 percent say sexual chemistry is about feeling comfortable and open with each other, 48 percent say physical attraction makes for good chemistry and 47 percent say emotional connection does the job.
Certified sex therapist Sari Cooper, founder of the Center for Love and Sex in New York City, found the results unsurprising. “What this reflects is that different people have different primary attraction triggers. For some of them, it’s visual; for some, it’s emotional; and for others, it’s purely chemical,” she says. “This checks all the boxes.”
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