Meet the Holiday Shoppers Who Make Everyone Miserable

Here’s how to survive the season’s biggest retail irritants, and avoid becoming one yourself

Eric Spitznagel,

AARP

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Published December 10, 2025

a graphic illustration shows holiday shoppers finding gifts and putting them in carts

The “One More Thing” Boomeranger parks a full cart in line, then sprints off for “just batteries” — three separate times — returning with a kayak, seasonal fudge and a live poinsettia.

Madeline McMahon

There’s something about holiday shopping that transforms perfectly reasonable humans into territorial cart warriors ready to fight each other. Maybe it’s the relentless loop of “Jingle Bell Rock” eroding our sanity. Or the existential dread of realizing it’s December 22 and you still haven’t bought anything for your mother-in-law. Or maybe it’s just that when you combine limited inventory, artificial urgency and too many bodies in too little space, we all revert to our primal selves.

The data support what we all instinctively feel: The holiday season can leave us feeling awful. A 2025 SurveyMonkey survey found that for 44 percent of Americans, overcrowding — too many people shopping at once — is the leading reason for making people unhappy. But that frustration isn’t evenly distributed. The survey finds: “Gen X experiences overcrowding more intensely than any other age group, with 51 percent saying it ruins their holiday mood. Gen Z, meanwhile, is the least bothered — only 39 percent worry about in-store chaos.” So if you’re over 50, holiday shopping isn’t just stressful, it’s a special kind of hell.

Here’s your field guide to the most insufferable shoppers currently clogging aisles, monopolizing registers and making December feel like a contact sport. Plus, how to navigate around them without becoming the next entry on someone else’s list.

The Doorbuster Sprinter

This shopper is convinced that a 40 percent discount on a toaster oven justifies treating other humans like bowling pins. They’ve been awake since 3 a.m., fueled by the unshakeable belief that this markdown will change their life. They’re running on adrenaline, driven by urgency and the fear that someone else might get “their” deal.

How to manage: Shoppers get caught up in emotional frenzies powered by retailers’ psychological tactics, says Adam Craig, a marketing professor at the University of Kentucky who studies consumer behavior. “Scarcity messaging and limited-time offers” trigger impulsive behavior, he says, overriding rational decision-making. So step aside, let them sprint and remember: They’re not actually your enemy. They’re just victims of really effective marketing.

How to avoid becoming one: “If you’re feeling like you’re getting caught up in the emotion, take a pause and come back to an item later, having given some thought as to whether you really need it,” Craig says. Plan and budget in advance, research prices to ensure deals are genuine, and set spending limits. Focus on needed items rather than impulse buys, and limit your exposure to marketing hype.

The Aisle Blockade

What makes the Aisle Blockade rage-inducing is the obliviousness. These shoppers park their carts diagonally for maximum obstruction, then FaceTime Aunt Linda to discuss throw pillows. They’ll stand there for five, 10, even 15 minutes, lost in product research, price comparisons and debates over whether “coastal sage” truly speaks to their soul.

How to manage: Kill them with kindness. “Start with a short greeting such as ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi there,’ and follow with ‘May I please get by?’” says Diane Gottsman, author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life. The key is you’re not placing blame for the roadblock; you’re simply alerting them to your existence.

How to avoid becoming one: “Think of yourself as a guest in a shared space,” says Myka Meier, an etiquette coach, author and founder of Beaumont Etiquette, a New York–based etiquette school and consultancy. She recommends keeping carts to the right, “just like on a sidewalk or street,” and to “notice the ‘flow’ of the aisle. If you’re going slowly, stay to one side.” And if you notice someone doing the polite shoulder-shuffle behind you, that’s your cue to move immediately, not to finish your soliloquy about whether navy or midnight navy better matches your couch.

The Price-Match Prosecutor

This person has confused being a “smart shopper” with litigating every transaction like it’s a Supreme Court case. They’ll hold up an entire line for minutes, sometimes many minutes, cross-examining a seasonal associate over 37 cents, citing subsection 8(b) of a competitor’s ad. They’ll demand a manager, a second manager, legal counsel. Meanwhile, the worker is just trying to get through their shift, and everyone in line is contemplating arson.

How to manage: Take a breath and remember, they’re probably not doing this to ruin your day. An October survey from Talker Research found that nearly 1 in 3 Americans expect to take on even more debt this holiday season, with half (51 percent) saying they’ve created a strict budget for holiday spending. That person holding up the line over 37 cents may be calculating whether they can afford presents for their kids. They’re not being stingy and problematic; they’re just trying to bring some holiday magic to their family without going broke. So practice a little patience, pull out your phone and remind yourself that you’ll get through checkout eventually.

How to avoid becoming one: “Do your best to have the appropriate apps or images that you need to scan open so that the checkout staff can be as efficient as possible,” says Craig. “If you have some difficulty, maybe let the next person go ahead and check out while you get everything sorted. That’ll help lower your stress level, too.” And if a price dispute is taking longer than two minutes, accept that you might not win this one and move on.

The ‘One More Thing’ Boomeranger

Parks a full cart in the checkout line, then sprints off for “just batteries” — three separate times — returning with a kayak, seasonal fudge and a live poinsettia. Meanwhile, your ice cream has liquefied and your faith in humanity has curdled. They’re operating under the delusion that their shopping list is a living document and the checkout line is a home base they can return to at will. The worst part? They seem genuinely oblivious to the chaos they’ve created, breezing back with a cheerful “Sorry!”

How to manage: If someone abandons their cart for more than a minute or two, quietly ask the cashier if you can go ahead. Most will understand. If the Boomeranger returns mid-transaction and acts offended, stand your ground politely. You didn’t abandon the line, they did.

How to avoid becoming one: Plan ahead. Make a list, check it twice (just like Santa) and stick to it. “The store wants to keep the lines moving efficiently while still showing some empathy for their customers,” Craig explains. “The responsibility should really be on the customer’s side. If you forgot something, take your cart out of the line and don’t increase everyone else’s frustration.”

The Return Marathoner (Dec. 26 & Jan. 2 Edition)

This shopper emerges like a retail cryptid, armed with a garbage bag full of questionable merchandise and the unshakable confidence that this will go smoothly. They’re returning a sweater with no tags or a blender that looks suspiciously used, all without receipts. What follows is a negotiation that would make hostage negotiators weary, while the line behind them stretches to infinity.

The kicker? Returns are surging. The National Retail Federation found that returns reached $890 billion in 2024, with the rate of return increasing during the holidays.

How to manage: Avoid the day-after-Christmas return rush entirely. If you must go, arrive right when the store opens, or visit during off-peak hours. If you’re stuck in line with a Return Marathoner, “you aren’t obligated to needlessly rush,” says Nick Leighton, cohost of Were You Raised by Wolves?, a podcast about etiquette and manners. “Offering a little acknowledgement that you see them can help diffuse tensions.” Accept your fate, pull out your phone and practice deep breathing.

How to avoid becoming one: Keep your receipts, leave the tags on the items you’re unsure about and know the store’s return policy before you arrive. If you’re returning multiple items, organize everything beforehand: receipts matched to products, items sorted by store. And if your return is complex or involves items from multiple years, go sometime other than the busiest return day of the year.

an illustration shows the back area of retail store during holiday season. The store’s workers have barred the door with a mop to stymie overzealous holiday shoppers

When you come across a ‘Can You Check the Back?’ Mythologist, use the time to double-check your own shopping list.

Madeline McMahon

The ‘Can You Check the Back?’ Mythologist

When they hear a worker say an item is out of stock, they also hear an opening negotiation. What follows is an awkward standoff, with the worker trying to politely explain that inventory systems exist, and the Mythologist remaining convinced that the stockroom is overflowing with secret PS5s. In reality, “the back” is usually a cramped, poorly lit space with a mop bucket and someone’s half-eaten sandwich.

How to manage: If you’re waiting behind someone engaged in a “check the back” negotiation, there’s not much you can do except wait it out. The good news is these interactions usually resolve quickly once the employee makes the obligatory trip to the stockroom and returns empty-handed. Use the time to double-check your own shopping list.

How to avoid becoming one: If a store employee says something is out of stock, believe them. Modern inventory systems are sophisticated — they know what’s in the back. “What makes something reasonable and what makes something rude often comes down to tone,” Leighton says. “The tone we’re looking for is value-neutral and nonjudgmental. It’s important to assume that everyone has the best intentions.” If you’re desperate for an item, ask if they can check other store locations or order it online. “If you get a ‘no’ and want to press it further, be mindful of not implying that you think the staff member is intentionally hiding something from you,” Leighton adds. “This is a slippery slope to rudeness.”

The Tailgate Hoverer

They’ve spotted you from across the parking lot, tracked your movements like a predator, and now they’re idling inches from your bumper, waiting for you to vacate so they can claim your spot. Never mind that there are three open spaces two rows over — they’ve committed to this spot and are willing to make it extremely awkward for everyone involved. The pressure is palpable. You’re fumbling with car seats, wrestling shopping bags and trying not to make eye contact with the person whose entire face is visible in your rearview mirror.

How to manage: “Most of these behaviors aren’t malicious,” Meier says. “They’re simply signs of overwhelm or rushing, but they can make the environment feel tense for everyone around us.” Load your car at your own pace, and don’t let their impatience rush you into backing out unsafely.

How to avoid becoming one: Stop circling like a shark. Park in the first available spot, even if it’s farther from the entrance. The 30-second walk won’t kill you — it may even be good for you — and you’ll avoid both the stress of hunting and the awkwardness of stalking strangers to their cars.

The Gift-Committee Summit

This happens when group shopping transforms into a full-scale democratic process. What should be a simple purchase becomes a multi-person negotiation. They’ve formed a human wall across the aisle, phones on speaker, debating color swatches and fabric weights like they’re drafting the Constitution. Meanwhile, you’re stuck behind them.

How to manage: A polite “Excuse me” usually works, but if they’re too absorbed to notice, don’t be afraid to reach around them or ask them directly to step aside. Most groups will apologize and shuffle over once they realize they’ve created a human blockade. If they don’t, gently but firmly claim your space. “The holidays are a stressful time, so it’s important to give everyone a little grace,” Leighton says.

How to avoid becoming one: If your group needs more than three minutes to make a decision, move to a less-trafficked area, or designate one person to make the final call.

The Doorway Debriefer

This shopper decides that the moment they cross the threshold — where cold air blasts in and dozens of people are trying to enter or exit — is the perfect time to conduct a full inventory check. They’re comparing receipts, reorganizing shopping bags, adjusting winter gear and generally treating the busiest two square feet of the entire store as their personal staging area. The logic defies explanation. There’s an entire lobby five feet to the left. But they’ve chosen to become a traffic bottleneck.

How to manage: “You can make a joke by saying, ‘Coming through,’ or ‘Sorry to interrupt the conversation, but I am going to get in out of the cold,’” Gottsman suggests. “Or you can say something like, ‘These doorways keep getting smaller and smaller, but I’d like to pass if you don’t mind.’” Meier advises keeping it neutral and solution-focused rather than confrontational: “A calm and friendly tone works wonders.”

How to avoid becoming one: Once you’re through the doorway, take three more steps. That’s it. Just three steps in any direction that isn’t blocking the flow of traffic. Then reorganize to your heart’s content.

an illustration shows last-minute holiday shoppers frantically searching for gifts in an emptied-out retail store

If you encounter a Christmas Eve Commando, give them a wide berth, and remember: Their poor planning isn’t your emergency.

Madeline McMahon

The Christmas Eve Commando

This is procrastination in human form: careening through the store with the frantic energy of someone who’s just realized the consequences of waiting until the literal last minute. They’re not considering, they’re panic-buying. And in their desperation, they become a hazard to everyone around them: cutting in front of other shoppers, abandoning their cart in random aisles, treating store employees like emergency responders and creating contagious chaos.

How to manage: Give them a wide berth, and remember: Their poor planning isn’t your emergency. If they’re blocking an aisle or cutting lines, hold your ground politely but firmly. And if you’re shopping on December 24 yourself, build in extra time and patience. The store will be full of Commandos, and there’s no avoiding them.

How to avoid becoming one: Start earlier. That’s it! However, if you do find yourself in last-minute panic mode, take a moment to think of others. “Walk in with the mindset, ‘I want everyone I encounter today to feel at ease because of me,’” Meier says. “It’s a simple intention, but it shifts your whole approach. Kids and teens notice how we treat staff, how we respond to crowds and how we navigate stress. Modeling patience, awareness and kindness — especially when stores are chaotic — teaches far more than any formal lesson.”

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