I’m Running a 5K for Charity. Some of My Close Friends Didn’t Make a Donation

When it comes to charitable giving, many older adults are happy to open their wallets.

In a March survey by The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research, around 80 percent of adults ages 45 or older said they’d donated money to charity in the previous 12 months. In addition, Gen Xers and boomers tend to be more generous with their charitable giving than their younger cohorts, according to a 2023 survey of more than 2,200 U.S. adults by TrueSense Marketing, a fundraising agency headquartered in Warrendale, Pennsylvania.

However, one reader expressed frustration over friends who didn’t donate to charity for their upcoming 5K race. Should they send another email asking for contributions? Here’s what our etiquette expert recommends. 

I signed up to run a 5K. The event is raising money for a charity, so I emailed a number of friends and family asking for donations. Several people donated money, but I have a few close friends who didn’t donate, and I’m really irritated. Should I send out a follow-up email to give them another opportunity to make a donation?

As a fellow runner who is currently working her way through physical therapy for her heel and cannot run, I’m so happy to be talking about a 5K. Great job getting out there, and for charity!

Before I answer your question, I want to address a few key points.

You said you’re irritated by your close friends who didn’t donate. While that’s understandable, please do not judge anyone who didn’t make a contribution.

You don’t know why they chose not to donate. Your friends may not be able to afford it right now, especially considering how many Americans’ pocketbooks are being squeezed these days due to inflation and tariff-induced price increases on everything from groceries to shoes to car insurance. Many Americans are cutting back these days, and that, unfortunately, can include charitable giving.

There’s also a chance that your first email simply wound up in their junk mail.  

Now, back to your question. Is it kosher for you to follow up? Etiquette-wise, it’s fine to email those who haven’t yet donated, giving them another opportunity to do so. But your message needs to strike the right tone.

Be careful how hard you press them to contribute. It’s one thing to tell friends that you’re raising money for charity and that you’d really appreciate a donation, but it’s another to make someone feel uncomfortable for not donating.

You want to establish a tone that will positively inspire them to contribute. Here is an example that hits the mark, infused with a bit of humor:

“Dear [friend],

In case you missed the first email, or I haven’t talked your ear off about it already, I’m running a 5K on [date] to support [X charity], which offers support to [organization’s mission]. It would mean the world to me if you considered donating.

I’m trying to raise [$ amount] for this important cause, and your contribution would certainly help me achieve my goal!

Here is a link to the donation page: [URL].

Thank you again. I really appreciate your consideration.

Best,

Kelsie

P.S. I’ll send you pictures from the race!”

Have fun at the 5K!