AARP Hearing Center
After 19 Days Traveling With My Ex, We Decided to Remarry
A trip to Egypt awakened our minds and bodies, and helped us commit to each other again
Monica Garwood
Welcome to Ethels Tell All, where the writers behind The Ethel newsletter share their personal stories related to the joys and challenges of aging. Come back Wednesday each week for the latest piece, exclusively on AARP Members Edition.
For the last seven years, my ex-husband and I have shown up for each other during dire health catastrophes. After being declared cancer-free, Bruce, my octogenarian ex, felt he was given another chance for new experiences. He started saving money for a bucket-list trip.
“How about going to Antarctica in December?” he said, brimming with excitement.
More Ways to Benefit
- Related Benefit 1
- Related Benefit 2
- Related Benefit 3
- Related Benefit 4
- Related Benefit 5
“Sounds cold,” I said. “How about Vietnam?”
“I know it’s a great vacation destination, but it doesn’t really turn me on. I joined the National Guard so I wouldn’t have to fight there,” he said.
Bandying back and forth about the comparative allure of various far-off destinations, we learned about who we were, 20 years since our divorce, when not dealing with health issues. We settled on Egypt in February because of our common interests in archaeology, art, architecture, ancient history and its 5,000 years of culture. During a cold New York winter, we looked forward to a moderate climate. The planning of the trip, the anticipation of new experiences and Bruce’s insistence on treating me made this septuagenarian woman feel appreciated.
While vacationing, we awoke early, had a hearty breakfast and met our guide for a strenuous day of climbing up and down the steps of temples. Bruce stayed behind me to make sure I didn’t stumble or fall. He literally had my back.
Ethels Tell All
Writers behind The Ethel newsletter aimed at women 55+ share their personal stories related to the joys and challenges of aging.
We craned our necks to see painted ceilings that had still retained their vibrancy after thousands of years, observed relics in museums and snorkeled in the clear water of the Red Sea. “That puffer fish is following me!” Bruce shouted like a little kid. We bonded over the multiple adventures we shared each day.
Being on a trip in a foreign country stimulated and woke up our minds and bodies. We were together every minute for 19 days and never felt we needed our separate spaces. Instead of focusing on doctors’ pronouncements, aches and pains, we were too busy having fun. We laughed and were awed by the colossal structures we saw. We felt like the adventurous couple we were in the earlier years of our original marriage. To assure a smooth trip, we worked with a local travel consultant beforehand. He arranged everything, including experts to accompany us to historic sites. We were not part of a tour. Traveling as a couple, with an Egyptologist and a driver, made our trip very intimate.
We entered ancient temples and saw statues so large that our heads barely reached up to a pharaoh’s knee. Individually, we felt insignificant, but together, we were active spectators, exchanging opinions and silly little site-specific jokes.
On a four-day cruise on a small boat up the Nile, we were paired with four other couples, all of them 20 to 30 years our junior, from Europe and Latin America. Since illness was what initially brought Bruce and me together again, with health our biggest concern, we didn’t really enjoy a lot of relationships with other couples at home. Now here we were, thrown together with people sharing the same experiences. Everyone saw us as a couple, and it felt good seeing ourselves as one, being part of that group identity.
We visited multiple tombs, including those of King Tutankhamun, Ramesses V and Ramesses VI. Bruce pulled me aside and whispered in my ear.“Life as we know it is so short. I want to spend the rest of mine with you. Will you marry me again?”
I was pretty sure, even before he asked, that we would be spending the rest of our lives together, married or not.
“I’d like to do it in a spiritual ceremony, but not legally, if that’s OK with you,” I answered. I loved him very much, especially all the new parts of him I was discovering on our trip. However, I still felt the sting of our first marriage’s failure and wanted to do it differently this time.
Author Brahna Yassky and her ex-husband, Bruce, got re-engaged during a trip to Egypt.
Courtesy Brahna Yassky
While aboard the boat on the Nile, there was a night when we were encouraged to dress in traditional Egyptian clothing, which everyone in our 10-person boat group did. It was easy to obtain in local markets. After dinner, we all danced together to Middle Eastern music. It was a joyful celebration.
The next day, we shared photo albums for each couple documenting the evening, including pictures transformed by AI. There was my 84-year-old ex, revitalized and muscular in a tunic, à la Mark Antony. I was transformed into a younger Cleopatra, as were the other women.
It may sound hokey, but when you are immersed in a 5,000-year-old culture every day for weeks, your clothes lightly dusted with desert sand, the “what if” fantasy of being Mark Antony and Cleopatra doesn’t feel so terribly remote. And who wouldn’t want to marry a hunk who looks like Mark Antony, with the sensitivity and wisdom of my Bruce?
AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.
AARP Membership
Join AARP for only $15 per year with automatic renewal. Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of benefits, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP The Magazine.
You Might Also Like