AARP Hearing Center
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Key Learnings
It’s important to talk with your loved one now about their preferences in case they’re unable to make decisions independently later. Starting these conversations early allows for thoughtful planning rather than crisis management and can bring you some peace of mind. The goal is to create a care plan that respects your loved one’s wishes while ensuring their needs are met. In addition, having these conversations early:
- Allows time for proper financial and legal planning
- Helps family members understand their roles and responsibilities
- Prevents rushed decisions during emergencies
Recommended Steps
Ease into These Discussions: Use gentle conversation starters, such as, “I’ve been thinking about estate planning. Do you have any advice?”
Establish a Point Person: Identify which family member will take the lead and keep the talks moving forward. Consider involving an outside facilitator if needed.
Understand Priorities: Discuss your loved one’s preferences for living arrangements, care needs and how they want their finances handled.
Keep a Record: Take detailed notes during or after each conversation. Write out possible next steps.
Discuss Finances: Understand what resources are available for potential care needs.
Tips for Success
- Expect the conversation will be an ongoing one, over multiple sessions.
- Start small and listen to your loved one’s concerns, if you’re meeting resistance from them.
- Be prepared for their sadness, anger, frustration and other emotions. Validate your loved one’s feelings.
- Stay focused on your loved one’s wishes and autonomy.
- Keep communication channels open and positive. Be as loving and respectful as you can.
- Document questions, decisions and next steps.
- Review and update plans periodically.
