Tim Daly Wants Everyone to Embrace the Changes That Come With Aging

“It’s sort of the difference between giving money to a charity and rolling up your sleeves and working at what that charity is doing,” he explains. “Just giving money to my mom was easy, and she did very well for a long time. But as [things] started to diminish for her … it was difficult on both of us, because she was coming to grips with the things that she couldn’t do anymore.”

An incident where Newell pumped the gas instead of the brakes, totaling two cars and the garage bay where she was getting her car serviced, put an end to her driving. Convincing his “eccentric and gregarious” mother to wear hearing aids was a bit trickier. “A turning point came when she was listening to the TV ultra loud and didn’t hear that what was on the stove caught on fire and set the fire alarm off,” he says. Luckily, neighbors came to the rescue. Eventually, Newell moved into an assisted living facility. (She passed away in 2009.)

Daly says that the most rewarding part of being a caregiver is spending time with your loved one and providing the kind of help for them that they once provided to you. “I’m of a generation where spending face time with people is really, really important. It’s not a text. It’s not an Instagram post. It’s being with someone and having conversations.”

He urges caregivers and care recipients to be open about needing support. “If there’s an understanding, then the stigma of things like not driving anymore or wearing hearing aids or needing to use a walker or a wheelchair [is reduced].… It doesn’t mean that your life is over. It means that your life has changed. And I think if we can embrace change and talk about it amongst each other, we can find a way to navigate it in a way that’s happy and fulfilling.”