What Should I Do When an Impostor Pretends to be an Old Pal?

Pay attention to signs that the ‘friend’ you’re emailing or texting is fake

Edward C. Baig,

AARP

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Published February 11, 2025

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Photo Illustration: AARP (Source: Getty Images (3))

My husband got an email that he thought was from an old friend requesting his phone number. Without thinking, he sent our address and phone number to this person, whom we were able to later confirm was a fake. We tried to unsend the email but were unsuccessful. What steps should we now take? — Ann B.

Addresses and many phone numbers are readily available public information, so rest assured you probably haven’t given away any secrets.

But you have confirmed that your phone number and address are current, so you can expect more junk texts and phone calls in your future. Impostors posing as old friends are sadly common.

Crooks may be armed with bits of personal information that they possess through a data breach. Before unsuspecting victims finally catch on, a scammer may trick them into sharing additional details to fuel a phishing, smishing or other scam.

Connecting seemingly unrelated pieces of information is the goal. Indeed, the longer a text exchange, the better the chance a criminal can gain your trust and collect those details, which can be used to steal your money or identity.

These days, advances in artificial intelligence can make detecting fakes of all types even harder.

4 ways to identify a possible impostor

1. Casual coffee. Criminals will do anything to attract your attention, including something as seemingly innocuous as inviting an old buddy to catch up over a cup of joe, according to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC).

“Don’t perk up just yet,” the FTC’s Terri Miller, a consumer educational specialist, warns on the agency’s website. “That invitation for a coffee date might sound like it’s from a friend you’ve lost touch with, but it’s probably just a scammer looking to start a conversation with you.”

That’s also why you shouldn’t tell texters they’ve reached a wrong number. You’re confirming yours is a legitimate phone number, which makes it a target for ongoing spam and scam attacks.

2. Unrecognizable number. A text from a friend with an unfamiliar phone number is not a foolproof indicator of fraud, but it should give you pause. If you haven’t been in touch with your real pal in a long time, you might not know a current number.

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Even if the number has a hint of familiarity — perhaps your area code — keep in mind that sophisticated crooks may spoof caller ID phone numbers. Or your actual friend’s account could have been hacked.

Equally worth noting: Email addresses also can be spoofed.

3. An urgent appeal to act. Would old comrades contact you out of the blue to bail them out after an accident or disaster? Crooks prey on your emotions to persuade you to quickly dispatch emergency money, share log-in details or divulge other personal information.

Resist pressure tactics or attempts to make you feel guilty. If you think the person reaching out is a real friend in a real pickle, try to call independently or investigate alternate ways to get in touch.

4. Odd language. By their nature, many text exchanges are informal, especially between friends, so misspellings, poor punctuation and bad grammar are not necessarily red flags. Still, if the back-and-forth is riddled with weird or confusing prose, it might be a warning.

Are the sentences so awkward that they make little sense? Consider whether the text seems out of character.

OK, so I’ve confirmed the fake. Now what?

Stop texting and delete that email. With luck, you were able to bail before you overshared, were enticed to move cash or do other favors.

Never break this rule: Don’t include financial or other sensitive information in a text or email, even when you’re absolutely sure you’re communicating with a close friend. Email accounts can be hacked later, exposing your inbox and sent files.

Don’t click on suspicious links and attachments. Again, heed this advice all the time.

Clicking on links and attachments could unleash toxic software or malware, including surreptitious programs that can watch what you’re doing on your device. Click only links and attachments you’re expecting and are certain are legit.

Ask the Tech Guru

Report the incident. The FTC recommends forwarding an impostor’s text to 7726, which spells spam. This may help your wireless provider calibrate tools to block such messages.

File a complaint with both the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and the Federal Communications Commission. Also contact local law enforcement.

Review your account statements. Do you see charges you didn’t make? Does anything else seem out of kilter? And check your insurance explanation of benefit statements.

If you think your identity was compromised or discover someone tried to use your information, visit the FTC’s IdentityTheft.gov site. After reporting what happened, the FTC says it will help you develop a recovery plan and put that plan into action. The nonprofit Identify Theft Resource Center can also help you recover from ID theft.

Bonus tip: Impostors flood social media, too

Social media accounts are frequently faked, which has happened to me on Facebook.

A dead giveaway that an account is a copycat or clone is when you are already friends with the person. Don’t accept the new friend request.

If you think your account was cloned or that someone used yours or a friend’s photos, posts or other information to create a new account, Facebook has procedures to help you recover the account.

Get started at facebook.com/hacked on a device you’ve previously used to sign into the social network.

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Edward C. Baig covers technology and other consumer topics. He previously worked for USA Today, BusinessWeek, U.S. News & World Report and Fortune, and is author of Macs for Dummies and coauthor of iPhone for Dummies and iPad for Dummies. Follow him on LinkedIn; Threads; and X, formerly known as Twitter.