Animal Chaplains Help Older Adults Grieve Their Beloved Pets

50-plus adults can suffer negative health effects following their fur baby's passing. Animal chaplains help them process their grief.

Robin L. Flanigan,

AARP

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Published March 03, 2025

Collage of images showing people caring for their beloved pets, including a dog, horse, cat, and hamster.

Photo Collage: AARP; (Source: Courtesy of Ginny Mikita (2); Courtesy of Rev. Sarah A Bowen; Courtesy of Sean Bowen; Getty Images)

When Elaine Hutchison’s 11-year-old French bulldog, Sundae, died in January 2023, she lost her dearest companion and "the only family I [was] close to." At the time, she could think of just one person who would be able to listen without judgment to the depth of her grief — a friend who works as an animal chaplain.

Animal chaplains not only use a variety of spiritual practices, rituals and ceremonies to honor sick and dying animals — much like church chaplains do with people — but also offer a safe space for pet owners to process complex emotions when coping with their loved one’s illness or death.

"An animal chaplain can value the life of the animal you loved with you," says Hutchison, 69, a ghostwriter living in Arlington, Washington. She was so moved by her experience that she became ordained as an animal chaplain this past June.

Pet loss is difficult for older adults

Fifty-five percent of adults ages 50 to 80 have a pet, according to the 2024 National Poll on Healthy Aging, with more than half owning multiple pets. More than three-quarters of pet owners report that their pets reduce stress, and almost as many credit them with providing a sense of purpose.

When a pet dies, research shows it can negatively impact older adults' health. In a 2023 study, 38 percent of older participants reported a decrease in physical activity, and 47 percent said that their emotional health declined following their pet's death.

In a 2021 study published in the journal BMC Geriatrics, researchers — hoping to develop a greater understanding of the impact of companion animal death on older women living alone — highlighted how important it is for their own well-being that they have emotional support and grief rituals when a pet dies.

Companion animals are more than 'just a pet'

Rob Gierka and Karen Duke of Raleigh, North Carolina, founded and run Pet Chaplain to offer information and services for pet grief. "The cultural story we have is, 'It's just an animal, it's just a pet. You can just get another one and you’ll feel better.' And that really can't be further from the truth of what people actually experience," says Duke, who uses the term "veterinary chaplain." "Every pet is unique. They're not easily replaced. And we need to honor that relationship by acknowledging and honoring the grief that people feel."

And even if they do have spiritual guidance as a regular part of their human lives, it doesn't always translate when a pet passes, Duke says. "Some people may go to their minister looking for relief and be told that their pet doesn't have a soul and won’t go to heaven. That's certainly very off-putting and disenfranchising."

What does an animal chaplain do?

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Animal chaplains can bear witness and offer support at any stage of a pet's health. "We assist you in whatever practice is meaningful for you and, we hope, your animal companion," says Sarah Bowen, executive director of the nine-month Animal Chaplaincy Training Program through the nonprofit Compassion Consortium, which she cofounded.

They may lead a ceremonial blessing at a public or private event. Before losing her 11-year-old English setter, Delmon, in June, 64-year-old Carol Ashcroft brought him to an occasional outdoor blessing service at her church, where people sit in lawn chairs with their pets.

The animal chaplain "lays hands on each and every single one of them, and it’s beautiful," says Ashcroft, a retired office manager from Kent City, Michigan. "She literally gets down on her knees. She pets them on the head, she looks in their eyes, she says a little prayer. It's between her and the dog or cat or whatever it is that's there."

"God gave us these beautiful creatures, and it's our responsibility to take care of them," she adds.

They help with the death and healing process. Animal chaplain Shel Graves, 52, based in Everett, Washington, tries to help clients find meaning after the loss of a pet by paying homage to rituals now missing.

For instance, a long morning walk with a dog may have meant breakfast beforehand and grabbing a leash on the way out the door. Graves suggests "trying to put some thought and care" into continuing to take that morning walk "so that there's not just an absence." She recommends using this time to think about your pet and pay close attention to your surroundings.

"These are not small losses," Graves says. "These take up a lot of room in our hearts — just a huge amount of space. Being able to have someone who can understand … is very important."

They are trained to understand different perspectives, religions. For example, Bowen explains, in the Buddhist tradition there are mantras said to aid in animal healing. In Jewish and Christian traditions, blessings often are offered. Someone identifying as spiritual but not religious may want help envisioning their animal bathed in light or supported by cosmic energy.

Bowen notes that animal chaplains are trained in understanding scientific perspectives as well.

"We observe animal body language, indicators of stress and indicators of specific emotions to determine what body-mind-spirit practices may be useful," she explains. “When working on a team with veterinarians or other animal care professionals, we have even more information about what is helpful for an animal. All to say it isn't just wishful thinking. We work with evidence-based practices."

Is there a cost? Bowen says that some animal chaplains work with organizations based on a fee-for-service model in conjunction with a veterinary practice, or their salary is paid for by a church as a benefit to their congregation. Others work in private practice with sliding scales comparable to many healing professions — generally $30 to $70 for a private session. Others work primarily by donation.

A growing field

While no official statistics exist for how many animal chaplains are in the U.S., interest in the Compassion Consortium's Animal Chaplaincy Training Program has increased 190 percent since its launch in 2022, according to Bowen, author of Sacred Sendoffs: An Animal Chaplain’s Advice for Surviving Animal Loss, Making Life Meaningful, & Healing The Planet.

In her private practice offering spiritual support services for people regarding animals, Bowen has recorded a year-over-year increase of 150 percent since she started keeping track in 2014.

In fact, Gierka and Duke found themselves unable to continue a training program they'd offered for five years because they couldn't keep up with demand. Instead, they’re converting the course into a five-book learning series scheduled for release in 2025.

To become an animal chaplain, the Compassion Consortium offers 3-month, 6-month and 9-month trainings. Its most comprehensive training program costs $2,700 and is both a certification and ordination program. It is a hybrid model of Zoom plus an optional in-person retreat at the end of the program. There are 10 to 12 hours of live-taught classes per month by experts — most of them Ph.D.s — in the fields of chaplaincy, animal behavior and ethics.

Feeling seen

Gierka recalls introducing himself to a table of strangers at a benefit luncheon for a cat rescue organization. After describing what he did as a veterinary chaplain, an older gentleman across from him began to sob.

"His wife talked to him a little bit and then she turned to us and said, 'Well, he started to cry because he lost his pet during World War II and he'd never grieved,'" says Gierka, whose doctorate research focused on the human-animal bond and bereavement. "He understood now that the world had changed and that there are people like me and others who are there to acknowledge and affirm the depth of their connection with their animal."

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