Tips to Navigate Changing Sexuality as You Age

Key takeaways

• Embrace evolving sexuality by letting go of labels and practicing self-acceptance, advises Sari Cooper.
• Reflect openly on shifting desires without judgment, allowing emotional growth and exploration at any age.
• Seek support from trusted confidants to navigate changes and foster authentic connections.

Summary

Sexuality can evolve as we age, with many people experiencing shifts in sexual attraction and desire later in life. Certified sex therapist Sari Cooper explains that changing sexuality is not uncommon and may be influenced by emotional growth, shifting social attitudes or prioritizing emotional intimacy. If you find yourself exploring new feelings, Cooper recommends focusing on self-acceptance by letting go of labels, reflecting on your emotions without judgment and seeking supportive communities or trusted confidants.

Navigating changing sexuality as you age is about giving yourself time and permission to understand and embrace your feelings — without the pressure of fitting into predefined boxes. Whether you’re considering new relationships or simply examining your desires, moving at your own pace ensures a healthy, authentic journey. Embrace every stage of life as an opportunity to discover new ways to love and connect.

The key takeaways and summary were created with the assistance of generative AI. An AARP editor reviewed and refined the content for accuracy and clarity.

Full Transcript

[00:00:05] You think you’ve got your sexual attractions all figured out. That gravitational pull has been the same for years, maybe even decades.
[00:00:13] But then you catch yourself thinking about or even flirting with someone of the same sex or gender. You’re not alone.
[00:00:20] Research suggests that our attractions can be fluid and evolve at any age. The reason for this can be due to emotional growth and
[00:00:29] changing social attitudes. Perhaps the attractions may have always existed, but were repressed due
[00:00:35] to community or family expectations. Also, later in life, you tend to prioritize emotional intimacy, which can
[00:00:44] lead you to fall in love with someone who happens to be the same gender as you. So what can you do if this is happening to you and you aren’t
[00:00:52] sure how you feel about it? The first thing is don’t worry about labels. As a certified sex therapist, I tell my patients, you don’t have
[00:01:01] to put a name to these evolving feelings with an orientation like straight or gay unless you feel like it would feel right to do so.
[00:01:09] Another suggestion is to start examining your feelings. This is all about creating a space to understand what you are
[00:01:16] experiencing without judgment. Try journaling, talk to someone you trust.
[00:01:23] This could be a close friend, a family member or a therapist. Look for online communities or local meetups that focus on topics like
[00:01:32] fluid sexuality or late-in-life gender identity or sexual orientation shifts.
[00:01:40] Then when you’re ready to take a step beyond reflection, you may want to act on your feelings, but remember to take it slowly.
[00:01:49] These feelings are new. There’s no timeline and no rule book. Just move at your own pace.
[00:01:55] And if you feel fear or guilt, that’s OK too. Acknowledge those feelings, but don’t let them define you.
[00:02:04] The key is giving yourself the freedom to understand and embrace your emotions free from self-criticism.
[00:02:11] Every stage of life is an opportunity to embrace new ways to love and feel alive.
[00:02:17] Wherever your feelings lead, honor them. You never know where your journey will take you.
[00:02:23] For more content like this, visit aarp.org/InTheMood.