AARP Hearing Center
Key takeaways
- Embrace aging confidently by following Valerie Bertinelli’s lead in practicing self-acceptance and compassion.
- Prioritize emotional healing and release self-judgment to foster genuine, supportive relationships.
- Redefine success as a calm, emotionally safe life surrounded by loved ones — not just public accolades.
Summary
Aging in Hollywood comes with unique challenges, but Valerie Bertinelli proves that embracing self-acceptance can be deeply empowering at any stage of life. Bertinelli’s journey highlights the importance of healing past wounds, letting go of self-judgment and surrounding yourself with genuine relationships. She shares that true success isn’t measured by fame, but by having a calm, emotionally safe life spent with loved ones.
Her story of overcoming self-loathing and cultivating compassion for herself is a roadmap for anyone struggling with aging or self-image. Bertinelli reminds us that facing childhood traumas, appreciating our flaws and letting go of unrealistic standards can dramatically shift how we see ourselves. Embracing aging and acceptance allows us to feel stronger, more authentic and ultimately happier in our own skin.
The key takeaways and summary were created with the assistance of generative AI. An AARP editor reviewed and refined the content for accuracy and clarity.
Full Transcript:
[00:00:00] Success for me is, um, a calm, safe, emotional life. That
[00:00:06] is, you know, being with people that I love and that love me. Hanging out with my son and his wife, hanging out with my
[00:00:14] brothers and their wives, uh, hanging out with my girlfriends. I love hanging out with my girlfriends. Just surrounding myself with people that I
[00:00:22] want to make happy and that make me happy. And that to me is a life.
[00:00:41] Barbara Cooper was totally me. Writers are very good at that. They can take aspects of you as you’re performing for them and performing their
[00:00:48] lines, that they can then see where your quirks are and they can enhance those. It didn’t take, um, challenging acting classes for me to get into character.
[00:00:59] I still adore that character. Which I guess that means that I love myself, which is good. You have to remember, back in 1975 through 1983 or ’84 that we finished
[00:01:20] the show, there was no internet. There was no social media. So I had no idea, ’cause I was still living my life. I mean, even when I would see paparazzi photos or then get, you know, stuck at the airport.
[00:01:30] I mean, I always thought, My husband’s famous, so that’s what they’re going after. But I never, and I still, to this day, I don’t act like I’m famous.
[00:01:38] I don’t know. I don’t, ’cause I don’t feel like it. I feel like ... I still go to the grocery store. I clean my cat’s litter boxes.
[00:01:44] I mean, I have a normal life. I don’t feel famous except when I, I, sometimes I see photographers hiding
[00:01:50] behind a bush and it’s like, that’s weird. I just learned so much from her. I learned about gratitude. I mean, I, I’ve always been grateful, but learning it through Betty and seeing the
[00:02:11] way she handled her gratitude for someone as big and huge and honored as she is. She was just a regular girl.
[00:02:18] Yeah, I, I just adored her. I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried Botox, I’ve tried fillers, I’ve tried, you know, all that stuff.
[00:02:31] They just, they’re not for me. I don’t judge anybody who wants to do ’em. If it worked for me, I would do it. I will never judge anybody else for doing what they want to do, because
[00:02:40] you have to do what works for you. I wish my, my skin was a little bit more taut to feel comfortable in, but you know what?
[00:02:47] That’s what 65 does. You kind of get these, like, little jowls and you just gotta make friends with them. I started writing this memoir,
[00:03:05] because I wanted to write a book about healing and what I’ve done to get to where I’ve gotten so far.
[00:03:12] So as I was writing it, I realized that if I don’t actually let people in on why
[00:03:18] I am so emotionally distraught and why this has been so challenging for me and
[00:03:23] how not dealing with childhood traumas that I really needed to finally, like,
[00:03:29] really dig into and deal with, dealing with self-loathing, still, at this age. So I did it. And I dug into it and I dramatically changed how I feel about myself,
[00:03:39] how strong I am in myself. If I could give a gift to anybody, I would have us, none of us have any self-loathing for ourselves.
[00:03:47] We’re beautiful human beings just as we are. All of our flaws make us who we are, as well as all of our gifts.
[00:03:53] So if I could do anything for anybody, it would be that. Please appreciate everything about yourself.
