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7 Tactics Scammers Use to Lower Your Defenses

Fraud criminals know how to manipulate emotions and take advantage of victims' trust in others

5-minute read

Article 8 out of 9 in Protect Yourself

Christina Ianzito,

Updated May 28, 2026

AARP

Reviewed by

Kathy Stokes

En español

Updated May 28, 2026

a string is tied around a person's fingers and another person's body

Getty Images

Key takeaways

Scammers echo a target’s background, beliefs, or personal losses to create a sense of quick familiarity and lower defenses.
Urgency around rewards, deadlines, or losses is designed to cut off time for verification or second thoughts.
Taking an “active pause” can help disrupt emotional pressure and reduce costly mistakes.

Many people believe they are too smart to become victims of a scam. But they miss the point: Scammers mostly bypass your intellect and rely on sophisticated psychological and emotional manipulations to get you to say yes. “You don’t have to be a fool to be fooled,” says Robert Cialdini, author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. “These people are using tactics and strategies that all of us are susceptible to.” Specifically, he explains, they weaponize human instincts such as fear, love and trust. Here are some of their techniques.

1. They establish camaraderie

“So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. You know, my own wife passed away last year as well. It’s been hard.”

Why it works: Scammers will parrot back the target’s religion, political affiliation, military background or life situation to get the victim to feel “he’s just like me,” Cialdini says. “Then we tend to lower our defenses and are much more likely to follow their lead.”

2. They play on our aversion to loss

“You’ve won the sweepstakes! You are now rich! But if you don’t act fast ...”

Why it works: Many people have a deep-seated fear of missing out (FOMO, in internet jargon) on good opportunities, given how infrequently they might appear. The criminal encourages that FOMO to prevent you from taking the time to consider the validity of their claims.

3. They flatter you

“I can tell you know a lot about finance, so you know how much money you can make in cryptocurrency if you manage the risks.”

Why it works: “Usually at the beginning, it’s a lot of love bombing,” says Anthony Pratkanis, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz. They’ll frequently praise the victim, Cialdini says. “That lends itself to a sense of connection and trust. ‘If this person likes me, well, then I can trust this person.’ ”

4. They make you anxious

“This malware means your bank account has been compromised. Someone could steal from it very easily now.”

Why it works: “We live in this age of anxiety, where there are so many actual existential fears,” AARP fraud expert Doug Shadel says. “It’s pretty easy to get people to say, ‘All right, what do I have to do to make this one go away?’ ”

5. They scare you

“Grandpa, help! I’ve been arrested and need money for bail right away!”

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Why it works: “When you’re afraid, the emotional part of your brain takes over the cognitive part of your brain,” Shadel says. “That’s what they want. When your emotions kick in, it swaps out the logic.”

6. They seduce you

“I love talking to you. I have not felt so close to someone in so long.”

Why it works: “In a romance scam, as in a [real] love relationship, you’ll have reciprocating self-disclosures,” Pratkanis explains. “I’ll tell you a little bit about me. In return, you tell me a little bit about you. And as we go further down the path, we say more intimate things, and that creates a sense of closeness, even love.”

7. They intimidate you

“I’m with the police; you’ve missed jury duty again. Either pay a $900 fine now or go to jail.”

Why it works: Scammers present themselves as an authority (say, a cop, IRS officer or Medicare rep). “Technology makes it so easy now to pretend to be someone you’re not,” Shadel says. “Criminals can program their caller ID so it says ‘San Diego Sheriff’s Office.’ ”

Join Our Fight Against Fraud

Here’s what you can do to help protect people 50 and older from scams and fraud:

Tell lawmakers to stop criminals from using crypto kiosks to steal from us.
Sign up to become a digital fraud fighter to help raise awareness about the latest scams.
Read more about how we’re fighting for you every day in Congress and across the country.
AARP is your fierce defender on the issues that matter to people 50-plus. Become a member or renew your membership today.

How to stay rational when scammers try to rattle you

Avoid responding to calls, texts and other forms of communication from people you don’t know. If you do engage with a stranger who has initiated contact, monitor your reaction. Do you feel heated? Is your pulse rising? Are you getting angry or anxious?

If the answer is yes, AARP suggests taking an “active pause”:

* Start by ending the interaction. If it’s by phone, say, “I won’t do this by phone. Send a letter. Goodbye.” Then hang up. (But don’t give the caller your address.)

* Take a breath and consider the scenario. Call someone you trust to get their thoughts. Verify the contact. If the person claims to be from your bank, call the bank directly using the number on the back of your card or on your statement.

* Get help from an expert. If you have questions about scams and fraud, you can call the free AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline at 877-908-3360 for advice and support

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The key takeaways were created with the assistance of generative AI. An AARP editor reviewed and refined the content for accuracy and clarity.

About the author

Christina Ianzito covers scams and fraud, and is the books editor for aarp.org and AARP The Magazine.

About the reviewer

Kathy Stokes is the director of fraud prevention programs at the AARP Fraud Watch Network.