Looking for Love? Here’s How to Avoid Romance Scams Online

How to spot a romance scam

To avoid placing your trust in the wrong person, pay close attention to these red flags: 

1. A ‘wrong number’ text. If you reply, you’ll soon find yourself in conversation with them. “All of a sudden, they create a relationship out of thin air,” says Solomon.
2. They want to talk to you directly. If you met on a dating site, they’ll quickly ask for your number or suggest communicating via WhatsApp or another messaging platform. “They want to take you off those sites because those companies have the ability … to identify [scammers] and block them,” says Solomon.
3. They live far away. You can’t meet in person — yet — because they claim to live in another part of the country or to be abroad for business, a military deployment or charity work.
4. They are constantly in contact. They love bomb you (lavish you with attention), texting at all hours and promising a life together.
5. You make plans to meet, but something always comes up. Just as they’re finally on their way to meet you, there’s a last-minute crisis.
6. They need money for an emergency. Your online companion has a sudden medical problem, legal crisis or business disaster; they need cash fast and you’re the only one who can help.
7. They have an investment opportunity. They have a relative who’s done well in cryptocurrency, and they want you to benefit from their knowledge.

How to avoid romance scams

The best way to avoid getting involved with a romance scammer is to protect yourself from the get-go.  

Be careful not to overshare online. “People don’t realize that they are setting themselves up to become a target… They overshare about their recent heartbreak or the fact that they’ve been recently widowed,” cautions Petros Efstathopoulos, vice president of research at RSAC, which provides conferences, insights and education for global cybersecurity experts. “The scammer immediately knows that this person is vulnerable [and] how to target them.”

Make sure your social media account is set to private, so strangers can’t find any of your personal information.

Block scammers’ communications. Set up filters in your email and use spam-blocking programs for texts and calls. Also avoid answering unknown numbers.  

Discuss new love interests with family and friends. Experts agree that this is the best way to prevent being scammed. Talk to someone you trust to get an outside perspective. This is particularly true if the person in question asks you to keep the relationship secret (a big red flag).  

Investigate suitors. Do a reverse image search. If the same picture shows up elsewhere with a different name attached, a scammer may have stolen it. And research their background, “get as much information from this individual [as you can] without giving away your own information and try and verify that information,” says Solomon.

What to do next

If you realize a romance scammer is targeting you:

Cut off contact. Immediately stop communicating if you suspect the individual may be a scammer. Do not re-engage with them. Notify the dating or social media site on which you met the scammer.

Report the scammer to local law enforcement (follow these tips) and the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3.gov). Not every complaint leads to enforcement action, but the information can help officials spot trends and sometimes identify the criminals. 

For support and guidance, call the free AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline at 877-908-3360, where trained fraud specialists can share information on what to do next and how to avoid future scams. The AARP Fraud Watch Network also offers online group support sessions.

This article, first published in 2018, has been updated with new information.