My Son Lost His Job. I Can’t Afford to Help Him Make Ends Meet

Between the tens of thousands of federal workforce layoffs, belt-tightening by private employers and a slowing job market, 2025 has not been the rosiest year for U.S. workers.

Just look at the list of companies that have already laid off hundreds or thousands of employees this year. Meta, Morgan Stanley, Wayfair, Amazon, Google, Walmart and dozens of other big employers are shedding jobs.

Your son or daughter may very well have been laid off — or might be worried that they’re on the chopping block.

What’s a parent to do when their laid-off kid asks them for financial support they can’t provide? Our etiquette columnist weighs in.

My son got laid off. He’s collecting unemployment and looking for a new job, but he's struggling to pay his bills. He asked me for a loan to help him out, but I’m retired and living on a fixed income, and I can’t afford to lend him money. In fact, I’m very worried about my retirement savings and investments at the moment, with the stock markets and my 401(k) on the fritz. How do I break the news to him? 

I’m sorry your son was laid off. And I offer you my sincerest sympathy for being in the position of having such a big, wonderful and caring heart, yet knowing that the limits of your own finances means you can’t help in the way you’d like to.

Saying no is never easy when you want to say yes — and it’s especially poignant when your child is coming to you for help.

Money Manners

Lizzie Post is AARP's financial etiquette columnist. She is the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette legend Emily Post. She’s also the co-president of The Emily Post Institute, co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette: the Centennial Edition and co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast.

Have a question? Email us at moneymanners@aarp.org. 

Start by offering your son your sympathy, telling him you love and support him during this difficult time. Then it’s time to tackle the harder part. There is no shame in having a budget and sticking to it, especially with the stock markets so volatile these days, and tariffs potentially raising prices on a variety of goods.

It’s OK to be honest and let your son know that if circumstances were different, you’d be sending him a check or transferring money without hesitation, but given your own circumstances right now, offering him financial support is just not feasible.

I want to point out that this is precisely what you would tell a friend or relative if they presented you with this request. Take that as comfort and confirmation that this is the right thing to do.

You are not a bad parent or a bad person. You’re up against something bigger than what you can accommodate, so you give what you can: love, support and an ear to listen.

And ask yourself: Are there other things I can do? Can I help watch his kids for a weekend so he has time to apply for jobs without distraction? Can I send him notes of encouragement from time to time? Can I spend some quality time with him? Sometimes the things we would normally do if the person weren’t going through a hard time are all the more important when they are.

I’d also like to encourage you to consider meeting with a financial planner, since you mentioned you’re concerned about your retirement savings and investments. A financial adviser can help you evaluate your whole financial picture and determine any steps you should take at this particular time.

Good luck to you and your son. My fingers are crossed for you both.