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9 Ways to Help Your Grandkid Select a College

Use your skills and connections to guide your grandchild to the college of their dreams


spinner image illustration of granddaughter and grandfather sitting at a table in the shape of a graduation hat, looking at colllege applications
Robert Samuel Hanson

Remember applying to college? A decent GPA and a few school activities and you were pretty much a shoo-in to at least a couple of good schools. That’s all changed — really changed. The process is competitive, stressful and takes years of preparation (planning what classes to take, SAT tutoring, a long list of clubs and volunteer work). 

Besides footing the bill or sporting a college T-shirt, there are several tangible ways grandparents can help ease the burden on their child and grandchild.

The study buddy

While you might not be able to remember all of your school subjects, grandparents often have knowledge in one or two areas that could help support a grandkid academically.

Or, just as important, help spark their curiosity on a subject so they are motivated to learn about it themselves.

“If grandpa is a scientist, and you’re doing really poorly in science, maybe he can help inspire you to look at it in a different way,” says Stacey Lichter, a college essay consultant at Step by Step College Essay Prep. Any encouragement, whether it’s sharing career stories or visiting a museum together, can help students improve their grades in a way that’s more meaningful than simply hiring a tutor, she says.

“I once spoke with a grandmother who was a retired biology professor,” says Jothsna Kethar, CEO and college counselor, educational consultant, and study skills and ADHD coach at Gifted Gabber. “She played a pivotal role in guiding her grandson toward selecting a research program that aligned with his interests and academic goals.”

The oasis provider

For families with multiple siblings or small quarters, grandparents can provide a quiet space for studying.

“The grandparent can make space for that and say, ‘Every Tuesday come over. We’re ordering a pizza, and we’re going to go through a section of the SAT or ACT,’ ” says Michelle McAnaney, founder and president of The College Spy. This can be a special time the grandchildren look forward to, says McAnaney, and it often works well because the grandparents are usually one step removed from day-to-day family life.  

The reporter

It can be a full-time job trying to keep up with all the ever-changing college admissions requirements, like new testing options, says Sara Harberson, a college counselor, founder of Application Nation and author of Soundbite: The Admissions Secret That Gets You Into College and Beyond.

Grandparents can help keep track of those developments by following national media outlets as well as local publications near colleges on your grandchild’s list, college alumni magazines, college blogs, college social media accounts and experts in the field. 

The researcher

Grandparents can also assist by searching for scholarships, identifying admissions deadlines and exploring the details of the majors a grandchild might be interested in.

Grandmother Margaret Porigow, 72, who worked in undergraduate admissions at the University of Pennsylvania for over 20 years, attends Sara Harberson’s Application Nation college guidance webinars to stay on top of the latest information to relay to her daughter and granddaughter.

“I was able to guide [my granddaughter] when she entered high school as to what courses she needed to take in order to meet the application requirements at competitive universities,” she explains. She also researches financial aid and scholarship possibilities to see if her granddaughter qualifies.

Another thing to keep in mind is that a grandparent’s background and experience might help their grandkids get scholarships. For example, there are scholarships available based on grandparents’ affiliations, such as college legacy, ancestry and ethnicity, and military service.

The tour guide

One of the most enjoyable parts of the college selection process is visiting different campuses, and it can be a wonderful opportunity to bond with your grandchild.

“I think when you go on a college tour with your parent, it’s a different experience than going with someone else,” says McAnaney. While there can be tension during a visit with a parent, visiting with a grandparent can be a fun and more lighthearted experience. Plus, some parents are so busy that they may welcome the grandparents taking college tours off their plate, she says.

Harberson, however, wants grandparents to be mindful of how they approach the tour.

“I like to think of a parent or grandparent being the quiet observer, so that when the student is ready to talk about things … the parent or grandparent is there to be that sounding board,” she says, adding that it’s important that grandparents keep their personal opinions to themselves so the student has space to figure out if the college is right for them.

The alumni

While Harberson cautions against parents and grandparents pushing their alma mater on their kids, leaning into the legacy works for some families.

The Scroggins family prides themselves on being a four-generation Aggie (Texas A&M University) family, starting with Garlin Scroggins who graduated in 1948.

None of the grandchildren even considered applying anywhere else, since the school is such a strong part of their family culture. The kids grew up tailgating at A&M football games, attending school ceremonies and constantly visiting the campus with their grandparents.

“A&M is really the only place any of us would ever want to go because it is such a big part … of what we do as a family and how much time we spend down there,” says Todd Scroggins, 49, Garlin's grandson, who graduated in 1997. Indeed, adds his wife, Danielle, 48, who graduated the same year as Todd, all our kids felt so comfortable that they were never homesick, because they considered the school their second home.

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The connector

Grandparents can tap into their network throughout this process to help their grandchildren decide what they want to study in college and the types of jobs they may want in the future.

“Grandparents know people … their own peers, but also those peers’ children who are professionals, who they might be able to … arrange some kind of a meeting … to talk about what [they studied] and what field [they] are … working in to help the student get more exposure to different fields,” says McAnaney.

These connections can also be useful for finding volunteer opportunities, which are a key part of the college application, says McAnaney. 

Admissions officers love to see activities that provide evidence of the student’s character, such as being neighborly and helping other people, says McAnaney.

The historian

When it comes time to writing college essays about their personal values and experiences, your grandchildren may need help remembering the details of their childhood. Lichter encourages students to sit down with their grandparents to review pictures and ask questions to capture those details.

A grandparent can also be the inspiration for their grandchild’s college essay, especially when the applicant gets to the prompt about reflecting on an influential person in their life. Lichter thinks this is a wonderful opportunity to sit down and connect with your grandchild and answer any of their questions, which can help add color to their essay.

Just be careful not to get too involved in the writing or try to edit their words, she adds. Colleges want the essays to be clearly in the student’s voice. 

The stress buster

In what may be the most important role of all, a grandparent can be a positive distraction and source of emotional support when things get heated. “I think when the grandparent is involved, it can really take some of that pressure and angst off the parent-child relationship,” notes Harberson.

For example, grandparents can organize fun outings that don’t involve discussing college.

It’s also important to offer compassion, especially around college-decision time, says Lichter. Teens need to hear that everything is going to work out, no matter what school they attend.

“[Your] involvement not only makes the college search easier but also strengthens family bonds, creating a supportive environment where the student feels more confident about their choices,” says Kethar.

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