AARP Study: Big Benefits in Cross-Generation Friendships

On the June 8 episode of Today, Mariska Hargitay, 62, said New York Knicks captain Jalen Brunson, 29, planned to see her one-woman Broadway show. To Hargitay, he is not just a famous fan of the long-time actor’s work. He is “my friend, my inspiration,” she said during the interview.

That 33-year age gap makes their friendship unusual. AARP’s 2025 Friendship Study found that 77 percent of adults say their closest friends are within 15 years of their own age. And only 22 percent reported having one or more close intergenerational friendships, defined as friendships with someone at least 15 years older or younger. But among those who do, 96 percent say those relationships offer unique benefits.

Most adults stay close to their own age group

There are practical reasons why many friendships form among people of similar ages.

Abigail Stephan, a research assistant professor at Clemson University’s Institute for Engaged Aging, says American society tends to separate itself by age group.

“Many aspects of our society in the United States impose age silos,” Stephan told AARP in a recent interview. She pointed to 55-plus communities and universities built around traditional-age students as examples.

People may also feel more comfortable with friends who share cultural references and lived through the same events at similar ages, she says.

Friends from different generations can widen your world

According to AARP research, older adults may benefit from having close friends outside their own age group because those relationships can bring different kinds of support, perspective and connection.

Those benefits include:

• A wider support network. Having people of various ages in your life who may be able to help in different ways can be a great resource. An older friend may have already gone through a move, a caregiving role, retirement or another major life change. A younger friend may be more familiar with new technology, current workplace norms or local activities. The friendship adds another kind of practical and emotional backup.
• A variety of perspectives on life decisions. Friends close to your own age may understand your current stage of life, but they may also be facing many of the same questions. A friend from another generation may bring a different frame of reference. They may remember how they handled a similar decision years earlier, or they may be close enough to a newer life stage to see options you had not considered. Lona Choi-Allum, senior research adviser at AARP Research, says, “Someone 15 years younger or older most likely had different experiences based on when or where they grew up.”
• Exposure to new things. When you’re around people of different ages, you may learn about ideas, technology, books, music, volunteer work or routines you might not have considered before. The growth does not have to be dramatic. A friend from another generation can simply make your world feel a little larger.
• Less ageism and fewer stereotypes. When people have a chance to get to know each other as individuals, it can help break down stereotypes. A younger friend becomes more than “young” or “inexperienced.” An older friend becomes more than “retired,” “out of touch” or “set in their ways.”
• More resilience during transitions. Whether starting a new job, beginning as a caregiver for a family member or retiring, a friend from another generation may offer lived experience, practical ideas, encouragement or a steady connection at a time when someone’s usual routines are changing. The support does not have to be formal. It may come through regular conversation, shared activities or someone checking in when life feels unsettled.
• Better well-being, including more connection and less feeling left out. Adults with friends from different generations view their own health and attitudes toward aging more positively and are less likely to say they feel left out or isolated. The report describes this as a correlation, not as proof that intergenerational friendship leads to better health.

Clemson’s Stephan says the exchange works best when both people contribute.

“The power of intergenerational connection lies in the term itself,” Stephan says. “The prefix ‘inter’ means ‘between.’ The underlying idea here is that there is an exchange happening that is bidirectional; it goes both ways with a give and take from each person.”