More Older Adults Are Living Alone. Is That a Good Thing?

And they’re savoring their accomplishments. This spring, Lester Shane, 73, directed the classic American play Picnic at the Sands College of Performing Arts at Pace University in New York City, where he’s a voice, speech and dialect coach. “I think the great advantage of solo aging is you answer to no one,” says Shane, who lived with a partner at one time and has dated on and off since then. “There’s great freedom in that.”

2. There’s time for pals

When H. Shellae Versey, an associate professor of psychology at Fordham University, tracked 890 African American female solo agers as part of a larger 2025 study, she and her coauthor found that these solo women were less likely to feel lonely than women in the general population with partners — and both groups gave their health similar ratings. “People still have the idea that getting older means being lonely, and that solo living would be associated with worse health, perhaps especially for Black women,” Versey says. “But if you’re still working, or you’re going to a bridge group or the local library or community garden, if you’re seeing people you know at the coffee shop and the grocery store, that’s very different from being isolated with nobody checking on you.”

Making time for social connections was a priority for many of AARP’s survey respondents. Sixty-three percent said spending time with friends brings them joy, and 51 percent said their social life is excellent or good. Women prioritized these social connections more than men did. “Of the top things for living a long life, number one is camaraderie with other people your age,” says Vicki Ivey, 83, a solo ager from Cheyenne, Wyoming, whose husband died in 2014. “Good friendships, laughing and doing activities together are so important.”

3. Friendship? Yes. Romance? Maybe, maybe not

Two in 5 solo agers in AARP’s survey said loneliness and isolation were the worst parts of aging alone. Few were looking for romance, with women even less interested than men. “I don’t want to date,” Mildred Kirschenbaum says. “A man needs someone in his life. A woman is more self-sufficient. She spends her life taking care of others, even if she works.”

Another recent national survey found just 27 percent of single older women and 43 percent of single older men are interested in dating. And dating apps? Forget it. Just 5 percent of adults in their 50s and 2 percent age 60 and older had used one in the past year, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey.

“I tried four different dating apps,” says Ruben Lopez Jr., 70, a solo ager living in Meridian, Idaho. “I always set my age group to at least 55 or higher, and to local searches only, but I was always getting likes from women in their 20s and 30s in other states. Almost every one looked like a fake account.”

In contrast, 57 percent of solo agers turn to friends for support and guidance. “You never know when you help people just by being there and listening,” says Bernard Dailey, 77, a retired chemical engineer from Cheyenne, Wyoming, and a widower since 2021. He attends a local widows-and-widowers group on Tuesdays, is a member of a men’s bereavement group and recently joined the Audubon Society “just to try to get out more.” Dailey has coffee with friends on Friday afternoons and breakfast with another friend Tuesday mornings. “Just laughing together, getting out of yourself a little and being social sometimes is all you need,” he says.

One in 4 AARP survey respondents found joy in volunteer work, and 1 in 5 are involved in their communities. Solo ager James Ravenell, 72, of Orlando, Florida, has been calling older adults, many of whom are solo agers, three mornings a week since 2014 for the Red Cross of Central Florida’s Dial-A-Friend program. “I check on necessary things like their medication. If it’s cold out, I ask if their heat is functioning,” says Ravenell, a Navy veteran and retired maintenance worker. “If there’s a problem or I can’t reach them, I note it down and call someone, like a son or daughter, to go out and check on them. It’s a pleasure. They inspire me.”

Since 2015, Evelyne Michaud, 68, a solo ager living in Westchester County, New York, has been checking in on older solo agers through DOROT USA, a social service organization based in New York City that aims to ease social isolation for older adults. “I don’t consider it work,” she says. “The pleasure you have connecting and becoming friends is rich and valuable. We have conversations about everything.”

4. People on their own need social networks

Solo aging has its challenges, too. AARP survey participants missed having someone around to help with “opening jars,” “household repairs,” “climbing a ladder” and yard work. Participants worried about being alone with an illness or injury. “In case of emergency, no one is there,” one said. “Afraid of a fall,” said another. “If you got sick, [there’s] no one to provide help,” said yet another.

One of Lester Shane’s top concerns for the future is the three flights of steps up to the rent-stabilized studio apartment he has occupied since 1973. There’s no elevator. “I just had a serious bout of sciatica,” Shane says. “Getting up and down stairs, carrying groceries, was difficult. I think about what I would do in the future if I can’t get around easily.”

Without a strong network of family, friends, neighbors and other caregivers, solo agers can face increasing difficulties, says Jane Lowers, an assistant professor in the Department of Family and Preventive Medicine at the Emory University School of Medicine.

“People aging solo are less likely to get all their care needs met as they get older, whether it’s help with transportation, household chores, basic health needs or mobility,” Lowers says. “Those little needs can stack up. If you can’t get to the doctor, medical conditions or even vision or hearing problems may go undiagnosed.”

In a 2021 UC San Francisco study of 4,772 solo agers, 38 percent couldn’t identify friends, family or neighbors to help them with daily needs. When a major health shock like a heart attack, stroke or cancer diagnosis arose, they were more likely to end up in a nursing home for a prolonged stay. “No one wants to think they’ll get sick and need help, but it’s an inevitability,” says lead researcher Shah. “To continue living independently, building social support can make a big difference.”

Kathryn Martin, 74, of Kannapolis, North Carolina, has been a solo ager since the death of her husband eight years ago. She has a seizure disorder and used to call 911 every time she felt a seizure coming on. “I would lie on the floor until they arrived,” says the retired textile mill worker. At $700 to $900 per ambulance trip, her medical debts skyrocketed. And she was developing memory problems.

A few years ago, Elder Orphan Care, a faith-based organization that aims to support older adults living alone, heard about Martin’s situation and offered help. Martin was matched with a volunteer “buddy,” Sandy Poling, 75, who negotiated payment plans with the ambulance companies, then worked with others from the organization to help Martin sell her childhood home and move into an assisted living center. Elder Orphan Care currently assists 35 “elder orphans” and plans to expand to 75 by the end of 2026. “We’re really big on relationships,” says Janna Syester, director of community programs. “Elder orphans are often invisible. There are a lot of people nobody knows are out there.”

Family may be estranged or live far away, she says. Friends may have died or have their own health issues, and neighbors may not realize the extent of their needs — or rarely see them outside their home.

One big and often unseen need: Like Martin, an estimated 4 million U.S. solo agers have cognitive impairment, Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, says Portacolone. “Many lack an advocate who can help them go to medical appointments and manage their medication and daily lives,” she says.

5. Handling money is a major concern

Survey takers also felt the pinch of financial worries. More than half of 50- to 64-year-olds described their financial situation as fair to poor, as did nearly 40 percent of those 65 and older. Among their concerns: “financial security,” “paying all the bills” and “worrying that I will run out of money.” Without a partner’s income and assets, 63 percent of older adults in poverty in 2021 were solo agers, according to the U.S. Census. Since they don’t share the costs of housing and utilities with a partner, solo agers are twice as likely to say their money doesn’t stretch to cover basic needs.

In a 2023 Mather Institute survey, fewer than half of solo agers had set up a financial plan, designated a health care advocate or established a power of attorney. Compared with married people, solo agers were half as likely to have talked with anyone about financial planning, a 2016 Northwestern Mutual survey found. “Solos don’t see themselves as the people being served by financial planners — ­TV commercials are all about saving for college and weddings and leaving your children a legacy,” says Allen Davis, a financial planner in Hadley, Massachusetts, who puts out a newsletter for solo agers and is finishing a forthcoming book with coauthor Mary Young to be called Financial Planning for Solo Agers: Manage the Six Hazards and Thrive. “They may be afraid — and don’t have a partner to nudge them,” Davis adds.

Without the built-in safety net of a loved one in the house or nearby, tackling the challenges of aging can be especially risky for solo agers with small incomes, says Paul Downey, the recently retired CEO of Serving Seniors in San Diego. “We have 13,000 clients. More and more live alone,” Downey says. “We see people who did everything right — they worked and saved — but something happens. Sometimes an illness comes along and uses up their life savings. Or their spouse has an illness, then dies or moves into a skilled nursing facility. Their partner is alone in a housing crisis that could lead to homelessness.”

It happened to John Conroy, 67, of San Diego. Despite a long-held hospital job his retirement savings ran out, and a legal dispute over a town house left him homeless for a year. During that time, he slept in parks and abandoned buildings. Through Serving Seniors and other social service agencies, he got a permanent place to live in July 2023. “It’s wonderful for me,” he says. “Like heaven.”

A long, independent life can pose challenges for the most resilient of solo agers. Mildred Kirschenbaum enjoyed decades of travel and, at age 101, a book tour. “If you’re up there in years, do yourself a favor,” she says. “Enjoy yourself. Don’t sit home.” But last spring, a bad case of the flu and a fall in her home left her homebound. Her daughter moved in with her.

In spirit, however, Mildred is still a contented solo ager. “Don’t be afraid of life,” she says. “No matter how old you are, there’s always something to learn.”