A 'Grandma Shower' Rains Down Love on a Grandmother-to-Be

Hosting a grandma shower at someone’s home will cost less than at a venue, and many retirement homes offer free use of a community room. Other cost-saving steps include sending invitations online, bartering services, and making, borrowing or buying secondhand decorations, says Kimberly Lehman, owner of Love, Laughter & Elegance: Wedding & Event Planning in Canton, Ohio. 

When it comes to food and drink, hosting a potluck meal, a tea party or a wine-and-appetizers event can reduce costs.

Choose a theme and encourage practical gifts

Lehman suggests choosing a theme for gifts, such as books for the baby or grandma. “Themes can vary widely” and can be “as fantastic as the imagination — and budget — allow,” she says. The shower could focus on the grandma’s favorite movie or travel destination, for example. Nizzi Renaud, chief brand officer of party supply site Zazzle, who has noticed increased interest in grandma showers since the COVID-19 pandemic, says playful and popular designs like “Grandma to Bee” reflect a trend toward personality-based themes. Others, like “Grand Blessings” and “Grandma’s First,” focus on the emotions surrounding the event. 

Bringing a gift that a grandmother can use is a thoughtful way to show you care. There are the usual items she might need to care for or transport the baby, such as a car seat or a diaper bag. Other ideas include diapers, bottles, gift cards and books on how to handle being a new grandma.

Grandmas-to-be can also create a gift registry at a store or website, event planners suggest. This can be done in collaboration with the parents-to-be or the shower host, so invited guests have an idea of what’s needed, Lehman says.

Among Hall’s gifts, a portable mat came in handy to change granddaughter Aubrey’s diaper on an airport floor and in the back of a car when the family traveled together in March.

“That turned out to be a fabulous gift,” Hall says.

Susie Rhinehart received mostly items for babysitting at her home, such as a high chair and a car seat, as well as blankets and onesies for the baby.

Consider and consult the parents-to-be before you host

This new trend has attracted some controversy on social media sites like Reddit. Some people feel a grandmother shower shifts focus away from the parents-to-be.

“It can come off as kind of selfish,” says Amaris Taylor, owner of Simply Chic Soirees in the Atlanta area and an event planner for over 20 years. “We’re focusing on mom-to-be and family-to-be and it sometimes can come off as grandma trying to get stuff for herself.”

To avoid conflict, Taylor suggests first discussing a grandmother shower with the parents-to-be.

In Hall’s case, a grandmother shower was her daughter Katelyn Muñoz’s idea. Muñoz says she liked the idea of having two showers: one with her friends and one with her mother’s friends, many of whom have known her since she was a baby. “I wanted to be able to engage with people who were really important to me,” she says.

Event planners recommend holding a grandmother shower six to eight weeks before a baby’s due date but after the baby shower, to keep the focus on the mom-to-be.

And while this is a celebration of the grandmother-to-be and her friends, make sure to invite the expectant mother.

You might include the grandfather- or father-to-be, too. Muñoz attended Hall’s grandma shower and her husband, Alex, popped in toward the end to meet people. The couple lives in Dallas.

Susie Rhinehart asked her daughter to attend her grandmother shower, which was about an hour away. “If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be a grandmother, so I wanted her to be there,” she says.