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Quiz: Which Classic TV Dad Said What?

Small-screen dads say the darndest things — see how many of these quotations you can match to the dad who said it

Lauren Vespoli

Published June 15, 2021

10 Questions

Quiz: Which Classic TV Dad Said What?

[ {
  "question" : "“Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "Peter Griffin, “Family Guy”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Homer Simpson, “The Simpsons”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  }, {
    "answer" : "George Lopez, “George Lopez”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Archie Bunker, “All in the Family”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "This quotation comes from Homer’s lackluster efforts to cheer up Bart and Lisa after they bomb their auditions to become Mr. Burns’s heir, and even made it into the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“I’m the cool dad, that’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: oh my god. WTF: why the face.”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "Jack Pearson, “This is Us”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Dre Johnson, “Blackish”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Ray Barone, “Everybody Loves Raymond”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Phil Dunphy, “Modern Family”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "In the 2009 “Modern Family” pilot, Phil Dunphy establishes his status as one of the aughts’ most lovable wannabe “cool dads.”",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“I’m your father. It is my job to protect you. It’s a job I refuse to quit, and at which I can’t afford to fail.”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "Uncle Phil, “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  }, {
    "answer" : "Andy Taylor, “The Andy Griffith Show“",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Mike Brady, “The Brady Bunch”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Howard Cunningham, “Happy Days”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "Uncle Phil might’ve worked as a judge, but this is how he explains his real job to his nephew, Will.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give the orders and they take ‘em.”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "Fred Sanford, “Sanford and Son”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Bernie Mac, “The Bernie Mac Show”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  }, {
    "answer" : "Tony Soprano, “The Sopranos”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Tim Taylor, “Home Improvement”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "Bernie Mac doled out plenty of tough love to the niece and nephew he raised in his eponymous 2000s sitcom.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“Stop crying and fight your father.”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "James Evans, “Good Times”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Homer Simpson, “The Simpsons”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Frank Costanza, “Seinfeld”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  }, {
    "answer" : "Dan Conner, “Roseanne”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "Much to George’s chagrin, Frank Costanza revives Festivus, the Christmas alternative he created, and tries to get George to fight him during the “Feats of Strength” portion of the holiday.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“Sometimes you have to spend money you don’t have to make it seem like you have money that you don’t spend.”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "George Jefferson, “The Jeffersons”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Al Bundy, “Married… with Children”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Hank Hill, “King of the Hill”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Louis Huang, “Fresh Off the Boat”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "Louis Huang shares this pearl of wisdom when Jessica’s sister visit’s the Huang family, and Louis and Jessica try to impress her by appearing more well-off than they are.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“As you go through life, try to improve yourself, not prove yourself’.”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "Ward Cleaver, “Leave It to Beaver”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  }, {
    "answer" : "Steven Keaton, “Family Ties”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Mike Brady, “The Brady Bunch”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Danny Tanner, “Full House”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "Ward Cleaver shares this advice with Beaver after he climbs a billboard on a dare and gets stuck.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“If I paid you to think, you could cash your check at the penny arcade!”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "Uncle Phil, “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "George Jefferson, “The Jeffersons”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  }, {
    "answer" : "Martin Crane, “Frasier”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Desi Arnaz, “I Love Lucy”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "The teasing and bickering between the cranky George Jefferson and the Jeffersons’ housekeeper, Florence, was always rich in one-liners.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“You big dummy!”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "Carl Winslow, “Family Matters”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Frank Costanza, “Seinfeld”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Archie Bunker, “All in the Family”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Fred Sanford, “Sanford and Son”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "The irascible junk dealer Fred Sanford was never shy about speaking his mind, and often his ire was directed at his son Lamont, as the two schemed to pay off their debts.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
}, {
  "question" : "“When you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Trying to cover it up would only make it worse.”",
  "answers" : [ {
    "answer" : "Eric Taylor, “Friday Night Lights”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Carl Winslow, “Family Matters”",
    "correctAnswer" : true
  }, {
    "answer" : "Andy Taylor, “The Andy Griffith Show”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  }, {
    "answer" : "Louis Huang, “Fresh Off the Boat”",
    "correctAnswer" : false
  } ],
  "multiSelect" : false,
  "explanation" : "Carl gives this timeless advice to son Eddie, after he, despite not having a driver’s license, sneaks out in the family car to impress girls and accidentally dents it.",
  "hint" : "",
  "hintLink" : "",
  "questionImgCaption" : "",
  "questionImgCredit" : ""
} ]

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MEMBERS ONLY

Shopping & Groceries

Walmart+

$20 off a Walmart+ annual membership

Learn More

See more Shopping & Groceries offers >

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Health & Wellness

AARP® Staying Sharp®

Activities, recipes, challenges and more with full access to AARP Staying Sharp®

Learn More

See more Health & Wellness offers >

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