Jennifer Lopez Files for Divorce from Ben Affleck

Affleck stars in, writes, directs or produces (or all four) films about complex, often dark, characters fighting their way against their demons. In her mostly self-produced movies, Lopez tends to play the same character: sexy lady boss in charge of her own destiny. Essentially, herself. She’s made three movies with weddings in the title: Shotgun Wedding (2022), Marry Me (2022) and The Wedding Planner (2001) — subtlety is not her specialty. Particularly when it comes to morphing into “JLo” on stage: sexy clothes, big hair, frenetic moves. The JLo throughline: Bigger is always better. As Ben’s career has deepened over time, hers has stayed consistently superficial.

JLo could be referred to as a “love addict.” I Interviewed her for several magazine covers (W, Harper’s Bazaar) in the mid- to late 1990s; in one interview, she admitted: “I can’t help it, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I always have. I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ve been seeking my soulmate. It’s a quest I’ll never give up. I used to be embarrassed. Finally, I just realized — this is me.” That was then — but it’s also her, now.

JLo’s a bigger star than past partners. So is Ben. He’s alpha. So’s she. That’s something they have in common, but alpha/alpha relationships, claims leading relationship expert/author (Getting to I Do) Pat Allen (and many other marriage counselors) don’t work. You can’t have two masculine energies in a relationship. Allen claims double alphas make for fiery chemistry that often combusts, with nothing left but fumes.

It wasn’t long after Bennifer 2.0 married in 2022 — with several gowns, several weddings — that both their public faces settled into regular expressions: hers, adoring; his, miserable. Remember them at the 2023 Grammys? Vegas oddsmakers were never optimistic. “I saw [Trevor Noah approach] and I was like, ‘Oh, God,’ ” Affleck told The Hollywood Reporter....” I leaned into her and was like, ‘As soon as they start rolling, I’m going to slide away from you and leave you sitting next to Trevor.’ She goes, ‘You better f---ing not leave.’ That’s a husband-and-wife thing.”

Let’s compare some of their quotes on fame, being in the public eye — and love. Talk about contrast.

Ben (to Kevin Hart on his Peacock show Hart to Heart, on June of this year): “… She’s so famous.... We were walking through Times Square ... [the fan attention] was “f---ing bananas ... I don’t like a lot of attention. This is why people see me and they’re like, ‘Why is this dude always mad?’ Because someone had their camera sticking in my face ... I’m with my kids.... You can take my picture when I’m at a premiere, whatever … I don’t give a f---. But when I’m with my children, that's a different thing.”

Jennifer (2022, to People magazine): “I just want my future to be full of love and happiness, with my children and my partner. To see the person, the human being, the man that he is today, the father that he is today, the partner that he is — he is so everything I always knew he was and wanted to be.”

Most modern major stars of film, TV and music do battle now every day for precious privacy — given how much opportunity there is to lose it.

Why did Jennifer have to take Ben’s love letters to her of 13 years and build her movie This is Me Now.... A Love Story, album and documentary out of them? It was compulsive — no one could stop her. She spent $20 mil of her own money. Still, record bombed, the tour, canceled, Ben moved into a rental home around the same time in early May as JLo’s solo outing as Met Ball cohost, with a curvy attention-getting gown — and her face, usually beaming, full of pure misery.

Since then, many media outlets have speculated that Jennifer Lopez suddenly seems, well, old school. More Liz Taylor than Taylor Swift. JLo comes from the era of one-name divas: Cher and Madonna, aspiring to world domination with records, tours, movies, magazine covers, clothing lines, ad campaigns, fragrance lines, flashy jewels and free couture. In the past few months, critics and social posts have dubbed her “unlikeable,” “tacky” — and so repetitive of her ’90s style, she doesn’t to appeal to today’s youth.

Liz Taylor, who likewise craved diamonds (rocks) and marriage, was married eight times to seven men. Jennifer Lopez has been engaged six times (twice to the same man), married four. Determined divas tend to get what they want: the highs, the lows — then fighting to find the highs again. Even if the roller coaster brings sorrow, they can pick their selves up, dust off their depression, vacation on boats in Italy in bodacious bathing suits — and get married again soon after.

Probably, this time, to a beta.