AARP Hearing Center
When the first signs of memory loss appeared, the Dumbroski brothers — Todd, Mike and David — faced a familiar dilemma: how to honor their mother’s wish to remain in her longtime community of O’Fallon, Illinois. With the brothers scattered across the country in Chicago, Los Angeles and Portland, Maine, they turned to doula Kim Burgess to be the family’s “eyes and ears” between visits.
Burgess provides regular updates, including photos and candid observations, to help the brothers understand how their mother, Nancy, is doing at the memory care unit. Beyond monitoring care, Burgess provides companionship, taking Nancy to concerts, ice cream outings and familiar activities that make her happy.
Unfamiliar with the realities of dementia, the brothers rely on Burgess to explain which changes are typical, what to expect next and how to make decisions together. Her background as a nurse practitioner proves especially valuable during medical appointments, where she can communicate clearly with clinicians and relay critical details back to the family.
The connection is also deeply personal. Years before, Burgess and Nancy had worked at the same hospital, and Nancy remembered Burgess from that experience. “When we realized Kim and Mom had known each other, it felt like it was meant to be, and it reinforced that we made the right choice,” says Mike Dumbroski.
For families considering a doula, the Dumbroskis say, the greatest benefit is peace of mind. Knowing someone knowledgeable, trusted and compassionate is there helps them feel confident that their mother is not only safe but well taken care of.
“Unlike rotating staff, a doula is a steady presence who knows the person’s history, personal references and rhythms, especially as dementia or serious illness progresses,” Burgess says.
What is a doula’s role?
While doulas are primarily known for assisting with childbirth, they also support individuals and families through chronic illnesses like dementia and end-of-life transitions. Unlike traditional hospice providers or geriatric care managers, doulas focus on the educational, emotional and practical aspects of care rather than medical treatment. Because there are no consistent licensing or educational requirements, the training and scope of practice for doulas varies widely.
Many doulas come to this work after careers in nursing, social work or other health care professions and may offer skills beyond the core, nonmedical doula role. Others focus more narrowly on companionship, advocacy and emotional support. Hourly rates for doulas can vary from $30 to $200, depending on their experience, location and level of required care. Given this variability, families need to meet with doulas to clearly understand the services they provide and ensure their experience and approach align with the family’s specific needs and expectations.
“Regardless of their specialty, whether it be birth, death, hospice, dementia or otherwise, doulas strive to understand the unique nuances of each individual’s experience,” says Omni Kitts Ferrara, director of education at the International End-of-Life Doula Association.
Doulas sometimes work alongside hospice providers to enhance support for individuals and families while the hospice program remains responsible for medical oversight, advance directives and symptom management. Some hospice programs hire doulas, who then shadow hospice staff and provide their services, which are billed through the hospice program.
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