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Linda and Chip McCauley at Healing Strides in Boones Mill, Virginia.
Greg Kahn
Reader discretion advised: This article includes discussion of suicide and mental health struggles.
In one of the most unforgettable scenes from the documentary, Facing the Wind, Curry Whisenhunt asked a small support group of people living with Lewy body dementia how many had contemplated suicide after one of the members brought up the sensitive topic. Several hands went up. “There are others in your shoes,” said Whisenhunt, the support group leader. “You’re not alone in anything that you’re going through.”
A member of that support group, Tom Lawson, a 72-year-old lab technician, was not at that meeting, but would have raised his hand if he were there. Tom was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia in January 2022. When he began talking about ending his life, his wife, Dorie, 69, knew she had to listen and act quickly. At first, the conversations were raw: Tom feared a decline that would strip away his independence and dignity, recalling an uncle’s grim final years in a nursing home.
Hearing the words, “I want to commit suicide,” was not unfamiliar to Dorie, who grew up with a suicidal parent. However, this time was different; this was her husband of nearly 40 years and the father of their daughter. Rather than recoil, Dorie leaned in. She began asking him why he felt that way, listening without judgment and gently steering him toward hope, including getting him to a doctor who put him on medications that eased his symptoms.
Tom Lawson is supported by his wife Dorie who ensures his emotional needs are always met.
Tony Loung
Together, they focused on spiritual readings that calmed his fears and joined support groups that normalized his struggles. They started planning things to look forward to, such as celebrating anniversaries early and taking their dream trip to England and Scotland. They also welcomed a granddaughter. Slowly, the suicidal thoughts grew less urgent.
For Dorie, coping has meant a mix of pragmatism, open conversation and creating a life full of small anchors: a boxing class, a rescue dog, time with family and the ocean just steps from their front door in Rhode Island. “I will support him in whatever way he needs me. I don’t want to lose him,” she says.
Scope of suicide among older adults
While suicide rates have been decreasing across the majority of age groups, adults 85 and older remain the most vulnerable, with 22.6 deaths among 100,000 people, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in New York City. Rates are even higher among older adults with certain medical conditions, including stroke, epilepsy, and Lewy body dementia, the disease that claimed actor Robin Williams’s life in 2014. A 2021 study estimated the suicide rate among individuals with Lewy body dementia at 32.4 deaths per 100,000 people.
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Depression is one of the most common underlying causes of suicidal thoughts, says Dr. Maria Oquendo, chair of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of Medicine in Philadelphia. “These thoughts can also arise from anxiety, chronic pain, trauma, feelings of hopelessness, serious illness, grief or other personal crises.”
Confronting suicide
More than 24 years ago, Sally Alter’s husband, Irwin, died by suicide just months after their beloved Labrador retriever passed away. Alter, who suspects that her husband had undiagnosed depression, still reacted with surprise when he first voiced his feelings. Not knowing what else to do, she called the police, and he was admitted to the hospital for two days. Alter was soon hospitalized herself for treatment of bipolar disorder and it was during her stay that he ended his life. “Irwin was an unhappy person, but I never thought he would kill himself,” she says. “Looking back, the loss of our longtime dog may have been a breaking point for him.”
Shortly after his Lewy body dementia diagnosis, Whisenhunt began experiencing suicidal thoughts. His doctor diagnosed him with depression and prescribed antipsychotics, antidepressants, mood stabilizers and Parkinson’s medications, carefully adjusting them over a year. Finding the right dosage took time, especially for antidepressants. “I never understood how people could commit suicide until I got depressed and needed help,” admits Whisenhunt.
Equine therapy is one of several ways that Chip McCauley finds support.
Greg Kahn
After serving in the Marines and surviving the 1983 Beirut bombing, Chip McCauley, 61, has struggled with PTSD and survivor’s guilt for decades, which eventually led to multiple suicide attempts. Recognizing the need for help, and with support from his wife Linda, 56, he has taken many positive steps to manage his mental health and regain stability.
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