9 Quick Questions for Alfonso Ribeiro

Do you have a favorite patriotic song?

God Bless America and the national anthem [The Star-Spangled Banner], since I sing them all the time. I don’t think there’s anything more patriotic than those two songs.

In all of your gigs, your positivity is palpable. How do you maintain that?

My attitude has always been: I believe in the positive way of looking at things. If you decide to look at things positively, you will bring positive energy into your life. It’s just a frame of mind you have complete and total control over. I always like to say, “Control the things you can control, and let go of the things that you can’t.” I can control my energy and my outlook, but I can’t control other things. So I let those other things just live in their own space.

You had your first child in your 30s [daughter Sienna, 20, with Robin Stapler], and now in your 50s, you and your wife [Angela Unkrich] are raising your three children [sons AJ, 9, and Anders, 8, and daughter Ava, 4]. How is parenting different now?

Everything's different. … I am older, wiser and smarter. I have a better understanding of what my role is and how to nurture them and help them grow into amazing human beings. It’s a very interesting thing when you consider the fact that most people have kids when they’re young, but they’re kids themselves. There’s no blueprint on how to be a good parent. At my age now, I’ve learned a lot about how to be better, how to be more connected to them in the right ways.

You and your Fresh Prince of Bel-Air co-star Will Smith have stayed close over the years. What’s the secret to a long friendship?

At the end of the day, it’s about listening. We’ve always maintained the ability to talk to one another and listen to one another and hear what we have to say and respect what we have to say and what we feel. We live in a very interesting time in our history where social media has created this narcissistic behavior where everything is about what you feel and what you want and what you decide. There are a lot of other people in the world that have very different views, and we have to be able to listen to that. We have to be able to hear what they’re saying and hear what they believe in. We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect and none of us are right all the time, but if we’re listening to one another, we have the ability to learn from one another. The key to any relationship is being capable of listening and hearing and having empathy for what the other person is going through.

As an avid golfer, what has that sport taught you?

I’m super analytical and golf is an incredibly analytical sport, and so it really works to my advantage in that way. But then it also can be the worst thing in the world, because you can get overanalytical. I play with a guy by the name of Sterling Sharpe every once in a while. He’s an ex-NFL player, fantastic wide receiver. He used to say this: “I’m going to get up, I’m going to hit my ball, I’m going to go find it, I’m going to go hit it again.” Sometimes that’s just how you have to play the game. It’s like, you do all your work ahead of time to be the best that you can be going into that round, and as soon as you get there, you just gotta go hit the ball, find it, go hit it again, and don’t get caught up in the technique of it all. That’s what I do.

Now that you’ve entered your 50s, have you made any life changes?

I don’t necessarily approach my 50s any differently than I did in my 40s or any other time in my life. I think there are realistic realities of being 50. At the end of the day, you’re not as capable of doing all the things that you might have wanted to do in your 30s and 20s, but my outlook is the same. I’m going to enjoy and live. I say this to my wife all the time: “What’s the purpose of life if you don’t live it?” I’m constantly making sure that I’m living my life and not existing in my life.