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Wife First, Caregiver Second: How Mary Ella Majetich Is Helping Change the Future for Military Families

AARP

Published November 11, 2026

AARP Florida

For Mary Ella Majetich, caregiving is rooted in love, partnership and commitment.

"I am his wife first, caregiver second," she said.

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A resident of Ponte Vedra, Florida, Mary Ella balances a career as a quality management nurse in the prosthetics department at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), advocacy work on behalf of military families and the daily responsibilities of supporting her husband, Jerry, a combat-injured veteran. Through it all, she remains committed to helping him maintain as much independence as possible while ensuring he has the support he needs.

In October 2005, while serving in Iraq as a psychological operations tactical team leader, Jerry was severely injured when a roadside bomb detonated beneath his vehicle. The explosion and resulting fire left him with burns over 37% of his body. He lost his right hand, suffered extensive facial burns, lost his ears and nose, and has undergone more than 100 surgeries.

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Unlike many caregivers who are suddenly thrust into the role, Mary Ella entered her relationship with some understanding of the challenges ahead.

"I met Jerry after his injuries," she said. "When I fell in love with him, I also understood there would be challenges we would face together. Most caregivers aren't afforded that opportunity."

Even so, she says caregiving has evolved over the years as Jerry's needs and abilities have changed.

"Caregiving is constantly evolving," she said. "Just as Jerry's needs have changed, so have my responsibilities, my capacity and the challenges we face together."

Today, her role includes helping manage medications, accompanying Jerry to medical appointments, preparing meals and assisting with other daily needs.

"As we grow older, it can be challenging to tell what is aging and what is the result of his injuries," she said.

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Drawing on her background as a nurse, Mary Ella understands the health care system, but caring for a loved one gave her a firsthand look at the challenges military and veteran families often face. Balancing caregiving with her career required sacrifices, and navigating the VA system inspired her to advocate for change.

"I work in health care and understand the medical language, but even I have found the VA system challenging to navigate," she said. "If it's difficult for someone with that experience, imagine how overwhelming it can be for families who don't."

That desire to improve support for caregivers led her to the Elizabeth Dole Foundation, where she was selected as a Dole Caregiver Fellow in 2018. Through the program, she found both a community and a platform to advocate for military and veteran families.

"When I was asked why I wanted to become an EDF Fellow, one of the biggest reasons was that the people behind the Foundation truly understand the caregiving journey," she said.

Mary Ella says that understanding has been especially meaningful because caregiving responsibilities are always changing.

"Our loved ones' needs change, our responsibilities change, and our ability to participate changes too," she said. "EDF has always understood that. They've allowed me to contribute when I'm able without making me feel like I need to explain or justify the times when I can't."

There have been periods when caring for Jerry required her full attention and advocacy had to take a back seat. At other times, she has been able to use her voice to help create change for caregivers who may not have the time, energy or resources to advocate for themselves.

"When I have the capacity to advocate, I want to use it to help caregivers who aren't in that position right now, just as there have been times when I wasn't either," she said.

Today, she connects military spouses, families and caregivers with resources while advocating for policies and programs that strengthen support for military and veteran families.

"Technology and medicine have come a long way in saving lives," she said. "Now we need to focus on improving quality of life."

That mission guides both her advocacy and caregiving. While she continues to push for better support systems, she remains focused on helping Jerry maintain as much independence and dignity as possible.

One of the most important lessons she has learned is that caregivers should not navigate the journey alone.

Through the Elizabeth Dole Foundation, military and veteran caregivers can access resources, peer support, educational opportunities and advocacy initiatives designed to address the unique challenges they face.

Just as importantly, Mary Ella encourages caregivers to prioritize their own well-being.

Balancing a career, caregiving, family life and advocacy is not easy. To manage it all, she has made self-care a priority.

"You have to take care of yourself," she said. "You can't care for someone else if you're running on empty."

Through her work with the Elizabeth Dole Foundation, Mary Ella is helping ensure caregivers have a voice, wounded veterans have the support they deserve and military families can thrive, not just survive.

After all, her caregiving journey has never been solely about overcoming challenges. It has been about helping build a better future for the families who face them every day.

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