AARP Hearing Center
Before posting group photos online, it’s best to get everyone’s consent first.
Jon Krause
With older Americans increasingly turning to social media platforms to stay connected, the etiquette of how and when to post images of others online is a topic I am frequently asked about:
I like sharing photos and videos of me with my family and friends on Facebook, but do I need to ask their consent ahead of time to do that? Should I tag them? What about geotagging?
Social media, whether it’s Instagram, Facebook or TikTok, is just one more place where we need to mind our p’s and q’s. While it can feel like everyone participates in this public sharing, it’s important to remember that we do not have permission to post anything about others in these spaces. And when it comes to maintaining good relationships, permission is definitely a part of good etiquette.
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To answer your question directly: Yes, you should always ask first before posting pics and videos to social media, and especially before geotagging. Why? Because these spaces are public, we don’t always know what privacy concerns and personal rules someone else has for managing their online presence. From an etiquette perspective, respecting others’ boundaries when sharing content that is connected to them on social media is thoughtful.
We can be respectful in two ways. First, we can always ask before posting photos from an event or gathering (even if it’s just the two of you on the golf course for the afternoon: “Hey, Bill, mind if I post this photo of us to Facebook?”). It takes two seconds and respects their perspective. This goes double for checking in with your adult children or nieces and nephews about posting photos of their kids. If your grandkids are in their teens, ask them as well if they are OK with you posting photos of them or tagging them.
I have a group of friends, and one of them has no social media accounts and has made it clear numerous times that he does not want pictures of himself to end up online. We always take two group photos: one for sharing (without him), and one for group or personal photo albums (with him). He is also proactive about letting people know his preference when we’re with folks who don’t know him as well. If someone’s taking candids, he’ll quietly ask them if they don’t mind avoiding him in the shots for anything that’s going to be posted online. He also offers to be the photographer for group shots, and if someone tries to get him into the photo he politely declines, letting them know he prefers not to appear in photos posted online. He does this politely and patiently, without putting on airs.
The second thing we can do is think before we post content and tag someone else, whether it’s a link, a meme or even a joke. If your friend has lots of political posts on her page, it’s likely OK to tag her in a political content post (as long as it isn’t mean-spirited). If your friend only uses social media to post about her family or her travels, then it’s probably best to share the political content privately, by email or text, instead. You have to remember too that, just because you’ve talked about or joked about something with someone in-person, it doesn’t mean they want that type of humor shared publicly where friends, family, coworkers and community members could see.
When it comes to geotagging, you really want to get someone’s permission first. For safety reasons it’s not always smart to share your location with, well, the whole internet. “Does anyone mind if I geotag us?” is the polite question to ask a group of people, or a friend, directly. Be mindful of geotagging yourself when posting pics of where you are with others, as it might still expose them.
It can seem like a lot of permission-asking, and some who are very social media-friendly (and savvy) might roll their eyes at the quaintness of it all. But from an etiquette perspective, we want the people we’re with to feel comfortable around us and with how we navigate their presence online, and that means respecting their perspectives and preferences. Post photos and content, and geotag yourself freely, but when it comes to others, always ask, or choose to share it privately.
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