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When it comes to May-December pairings — those relationships with a considerable age difference — the cliché is an older man with a much younger woman. But these days, that type of coupling is an equal-opportunity adventure.
Consider “If I Could Turn Back Time” singer Cher and her latest beau. The 76-year-old superstar and 36-year-old music executive Alexander Edwards have been dating since November 2022. On social media, Cher has even been flashing a new diamond ring — a gift from Edwards — prompting speculation that the two are engaged.
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These types of unions, especially among the famous, aren’t all that unusual. The 25-year age difference between Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones is old news, as is the 17 years that separate George and Amal Clooney. But the 40-year age gap between Cher and Edwards has reignited the debate about whether May-December relationships — so named to represent youth (spring) and old age (winter) — are just flings or pairings that can go the distance.
That could be a challenge. A 2017 study published in the Journal of Economics from researchers in Australia found that after six to 10 years of marriage, couples with a significant age gap have less marital satisfaction than those with spouses of similar ages.
Even so, “relationships with large age gaps can absolutely work,” says Michael Webb, 55, founder of TheRomantic.com, a site aimed at helping couples infuse more romance in their relationships.
“Their ability to last ‘happily ever after’ is usually based on the same markers of ‘traditional’ relationships: shared goals, good communication, deep friendship and the ‘spark’ you find in one another,” he adds.
Happily married, with a 32-year age difference
Alan Seidner and Carrie Forrest have been married for nearly 20 years.
Photo by Amy Wellenkamp
Alan Seidner, 80, and Carrie Forrest, 48, have been together 25 years and married for nearly 20 of them.
They hit it off over the phone while planning a work-related event, and knew upon meeting that they wanted to keep getting to know each other better. Seidner, who was dating after splitting from his wife of three decades about a year earlier, disliked that so many women his age had negative relationships with their children or were caring for aging parents and didn’t have time for a relationship. Forrest, meanwhile, had trouble finding men her age who were interested in settling down.
Once they were officially a couple, Forrest was worried about what other people would think and hid their relationship from her family for three years. Seidner, who respected that decision, paid no mind to outside opinions. The pair, who live in Pismo Beach, California, say their lives are enriched by each other’s perspectives.
But they knew the age difference would present challenges, and the couple handled tough topics early on. Seidner got long-term care insurance and made end-of-life decisions known to help with aging challenges. Forrest decided to focus on graduate school and started her own business instead of having children; Seidner had two grown daughters and, while he was open to being a father again, he did not particularly relish that idea.
